To my baby boy on your fifth birthday,

“No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you’re the only one who knows the sound of my heart from the inside.” – Kristen Proby.

Has it really only been just five years?

Five short years since we officially met.

Five short years since your first breath.

Five short years since you made me a mother and life before you just faded away.

That bond between a mother and her firstborn is one that can never be replicated. We knew each other first and we learned to be new people together.

We knew each other before we even met in a way no one else can understand.

You knew my voice, my heart rhythms, my movements.

I knew your sleep patterns, felt your rolling kicks and turns, your hiccups.

The day you were born, that first cry, that first cuddle. We recognised each other instantly and for all the pain, the tears, the sacrifices and the hardship – for that moment, it was all worth it.

For five years now, I have watched you grow. I have watched you succeed, I have watched you fail, I have watched you persist through your challenges.

I have watched you develop from a strong-willed, inquisitive baby into a spirited, assertive but compassionate and kind little boy.

In the coming months, you will embark on your first years of schooling and I will continue to watch as the world opens up before you.

There will be further success, I will be there to guide you towards it.

There will be inevitable failure, I will be there to you hold you up.

There will be innumerable challenges, I will assist you in navigating through them.

Throughout it all, as I have done for these past five years, I will be your greatest cheer-leader, your most valuable teacher and your strongest protector.

Because you have done the same for me.

These five short years have flown by before my eyes. In that time, you have been my leading supporter, my most influential teacher and an enduring protector.

In the moments where I dwelled on my short-comings as a parent, you proved to me that it was my failings that urge me to be better – to do better.

You have taught me to trust in myself, to have faith in my knowledge and abilities. You have shown me assurance and taught me to parent with conviction.

Most importantly though, being your mother has protected me from myself. In days of doubt, hours of stress and anxiety you have pulled me out the other side and shown me how to persevere.

Being your mother has been an honour and a privilege and not a day goes by that I am not grateful for you.

I am a better person today because of you and this journey that you have taken me on has been profoundly the best time of my life.

My darling boy, words can’t express the depth of pride I have for the small person I have raised. You show kindness and consideration for all those you meet. You are loyal, thoughtful and wise. You demonstrate fairness and tolerance in all things and beyond all, you treat others with dignity.

You are strong, stronger than most and you are intuitive. You are quick-witted and well-informed, confident and bright. You show keen attention to detail and are unshakable in your principles.

I am so looking forward to witnessing the development of the young man you will become. I know you will do tremendous things in your life and enact considerable impact on the future.

I know this because I know you – even before we met.

My precious boy, I wish you the world. I want for you; all your hopes and dreams and I will be here to make sure you achieve them all.

Happiest of birthdays to you.

I love you, I honour you and I thank you.

Always, your Mummy xx

 

You may also like to read:

A Birthday Do-Over

Firstborn Vs Secondborn

My Birth Story