My family is going through a time of change. We have recently welcomed a beautiful little girl into our family, she is a delight.
When I was pregnant, I was not overly worried about how I could ever love another child as much as I loved my first. I think having worked in child care for so long, my heart and head just knew it was possible to love lots of children!
I also knew that my Ms 2 would be a beautiful, caring, kind and loving big sister. She was so caring towards her babies. I thought, if anything, her jealousy would be directed towards her dad or myself as our attention would now be divided.
What I hadn’t accounted for were my feelings for my 2 year old. In the first week after having my second baby, and quite possibly in the midst of the baby blues, I can remember texting my good friend (who had two children older than mine) looking for reassurance. I can’t remember the exact details due to that clash of newborn haze and sleep deprivation but I can certainly remember typing the sentence: “I feel like I’ve turned her whole world upside down’. I was heartbroken for her, even though she was TOTALLY smitten for her new sister. I felt that I was neglecting her and letting her down, as she would now need to wait and I couldn’t always attend to her immediately, especially if I was feeding the baby. Those first few weeks after bringing a newborn home are such a turbulent time of emotions!! There’s absolute incredible highs and so much love you think you might explode, there’s a fierce lioness protection feeling happening and then there’s the incredible, debilitating sleep deprivation that when someone asks how you are, you stare blankly before you can compute.
Over the weeks, my eldest daughter has grown incredibly close to my husband, she calls for him, seeks him out and their bond is strong. Around our house, I often hear her little voice calling come on daddy, come on. He is her favourite. This is natural, because I’m often tending to the newborn. I ensure I make time for just her and I when I can. We sneak off to swim in our pool together, do a special activity together when our baby is sleeping and she is a brilliant little helped at special jobs we do around the house!
Recently, we spent half a day out together at a waterpark. She created a game and her little voice said come on mummy, come on. I was delighted. Together we played her little game that involved running together, through water as deep as our ankles. We took turns running, splashing and had big cuddles when I caught her. My heart was mega full.
I knew in this moment our bond was as strong as ever and as it does in all parenting phases, this time of change will pass and when it does: our family will be as close as ever.
You may also like to read:
You know you’re a mum when – part 1