Kiddipedia
It is natural for young children to feel anxious when saying goodbye.
Even though separation anxiety is a normal stage of development it is very difficult to cope with.
Being empathic to the child in supporting them through the anxiety and help them build resilience.
On arrival at daycare or school spend some time to encourage your child to get involved with the other children and activities, get your child doing an enjoyable activity before you leave, although it can be easier said than done.
A goodbye routine is a starting point but try to keep it short and sweet. Rituals and routines are reassuring and can be as simple as a short hug and special wave and a goodbye kiss. Talk to your teacher and get them to help with the disentangling.
Keep it short and sweet.
Leave quickly and don’t stall but again this is easier said than done.
Even when your patience is airing thin try to keep a relaxed and happy look on your face when leaving. If you seem worried or sad, your child will get more upset and worry about you. No matter how frustrated you feel, avoid getting angry and criticising or being negative towards your child.
When you are stressed and frustrated you highly sensitive will pick up on your energy. So try to stay calm and take some deep breaths.
Let your child take something they love from home, like a teddy bear, or a photo of mummy or a special bracket or necklace. These objects will help your child feel safer. Send notes and drawing for your child to read at lunchtime. You can place a note or drawing depending on age for your child their lunch box. “I love you and miss you can or a drawing will reassure your child.
When to get help
If crying, tantrums, and clinginess continued for weeks and months it is a good idea to seek help. It is also beneficial for me just to talk about it because it can cause much stress to the parents.
Separation anxiety occurs because a child feels unsafe in some way.
How to help your child with separation anxiety can be as simple as listening to your child and respecting their feelings as being listened to can have a powerful healing effect.
Give your child the time to talk about their feelings.
Give recognition by praising your child’s efforts at being independent.
Focus on positive reinforcement.
Reward your child’s efforts even small steps in the right direction should be praised.
Learn as much as you can to educate yourself about separation anxiety. The better you understand how your child is feeling the better you will be at supporting their struggles rather than letting your frustrations out on them.
Eugenie Pepper
Clinical Hypnotherapy, Counselling, Applied Psychotherapy
