I remember growing up I was what you’d call a “worry wart” because I’d worry about all sorts of trivial things.

But today that’s not the case. I actually worry about very little! In fact, now you could call me very “laid back”! And people often do!

As a result of my former worrying ways I now connect easily and create a trusting relationship with and can be empathetic to the worrying child.   It’s a lot easier for me to do this because I’ve been in their shoes, so to speak.

The thing to remember with a worrying child is that when they’re worried or have a concern is that it’s real to them no matter how silly or trivial it may seem to you.

Having a quick conversation around their concerns by asking them questions will help you find out more and better understand where the worry stems from.  Once you have an understanding of what the problem is the next step is to determine what possible outcomes they think the problem may cause.  Letting them verbalise it will help you to either ask the appropriate questions to eventually help them come to the realisation that it is safe or allow you to provide solutions to their perceived danger.

An example of this may be… Child “I don’t want to balance on this high railing because it’s dangerous”

Adult “What do you think the worst thing that could happen to you could be?”

Child “I could fall off and break my arm”

Adult “Yes that could happen, what can we do to make it safe for you?”

Child “You could hold my hand as I walk”

Adult “That’s a great idea, I’ll help you balance and keep you safe”

Adult “Is there anything else worrying you?”

Child “I’m scared!”

Adult “Yep that’s normal when trying new things, but when you get up and balance all the way across how exciting will that feel? You won’t feel scared anymore because you’ll have accomplished it”

Child “I will be like Spiderman!”

Adult “That’s right! Let’s do it Spiderman”

This doesn’t always result in an instant change but it will often lead to a compromise. For example, instead of walking all the way across the railing they may stand up on it and get comfortable with it as the first step then progress from there.

The speed at which they progress will be determined by the conversations you have together as well as their unique personality, which you know and understand better than anyone.

I hope this helps you and your family conquer the worries and fears and to succeed and live happier

 

Clint

 

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