There is a lot of opinions out there about stay at home mums. Lately, I’ve seen a lot of things on social media about stay at home mums, about how they don’t do anything except sit around all day and watch tv or play with their kids all day, how they don’t need to put their kids in daycare etc.
Being a stay at home mum is definitely not easy, and it’s not as glorious as people seem to think either. Yes, we get to spend the day with our kids but its not all fun and games. Today for example and like many other days my older two kids wake up early and as soon as they’re up they’re up, there’s no going back to sleep for them. The baby wakes even earlier but luckily with a bit of boobie milk I can get another hour or two from him.
So our day starts with breakfast being made there’s usually a bit of bickering between the older two over what they’re going to have for breakfast or because one of them has moved the table away from the other or because even though Savannah said she was finished her breakfast and left the table to go and watch the tv. So Isabelle has taken Savs bowl to finish what’s left because she has finished her own. Savannah decides because Belle has her bowl she wasn’t actually finished and wants it back, but its gone now. Then I get to sit and eat my food while again listening to them arguing and then I have Belle who has to come and sit on top of me with her face practically in my bowl because she wants what I’m eating even though she has already eaten her breakfast and the remainder of Savs. Then I make something for Abel to have for breakfast because time has flown by and he is now a big 7-month-old! I swear I only gave birth last month!
Once breakfast is over, it’s time to clean up the breakfast mess and sit and feed Abel so he can go down for his nap. There is usually a couple of nappy changes in amongst all that, SO fun I know right!
Most days I’m lucky to have us dressed by 12 unless we have something on or an appointment then it’s like full-on crazy mode and we’re all just running around losing our minds. Well, let’s face it I’m the only one losing my mind because the baby has no idea what is happening and it doesn’t matter how many times you ask your toddlers to come here so I can dress you/do your hair they couldn’t care less and ignore you or run the other way. And then there’s the favourite of putting your shoes on now so we can leave or be going to be late! But they have no concept of time and couldn’t care less until you start to walk out the door without them!
Then there are the days where you really want to wake up and have a shower so you can feel clean and start your day but you have kids so you know that’s not going to happen. Why not shower the night before you say? Because once you finally get dinner over with which your children refuse to eat, because they don’t like it even If they haven’t ever had it before and would rather play with it and make a mess then eat it. Unlike the baby who thinks just about every food you feed him is great, even if only a small amount makes it into his mouth because he refuses to eat unless he can feed himself and screams and cries if you dare take the spoon off him. Once that’s over and done with and you’ve cleaned everything up and gotten the kids ready for bed and put them to bed 50 times before they actually stay in there (thank god for door handle covers! no more getting up every 2 mins)
You finally have some peace and quiet, the last thing you want to do is to stand in the shower. You just want to curl up on the couch with some chocolate and binge-watch your fave show before you crawl into bed.
As I am writing this I have my baby in the jumper next to me so he is safe from his sisters, who were watching a movie in the lounge room. But the younger one has already helped herself to an apple from the fruit bowl on the table and come up to tell me she wasn’t doing anything. The older one has also come up and asked for my jewellery which she has helped herself to on more than one occasion whilst I have been busy with the other two. She has also been climbing my chair and is now sitting on the bedside table watching me type after her and her sister had a wrestle on the bed resulting in both of them crying. Ideal. I also am sitting here with a towelling nappy in my bra because I forgot to buy more breast pads and am trying to make what I have left last till the next shopping day, and felt that all too familiar tingle of my milk let down. Perfect.
Anyway, as I was saying most days I don’t get to shower till close to 12 because time just flies when you’re a mum. But before I can actually get a shower in I’ve got to get the baby to nap so he can be safe in his cot with the door shut and then either get the girls settled with a movie an hope to god they don’t get bored of it and destroy the house whilst I’m in there or get a bath ready so that I can stick them in the bath while I have my shower. Which then means once I’m done I’ve got to then wash them as well and dress them for the day. Then the baby is usually awake by now so I need to get him up and then organise lunch for the girls and myself. Not to mention the mountain of dishes waiting to be put away and washed in my sink. Then there’s the washing that seems to be never-ending. Add the vacuuming to the list too since now the baby is rolling everywhere I need to vacuum my lounge room floor regularly/daily so its clean for him, also making sure that the girls haven’t left any little toys laying around for him to put in his mouth. On top of everything else going on in my brain, I also need to organise dinner which the girls probably won’t eat anyway but still need to at least make an effort.
I have had days where I have snuck off to the toilet only to come out to find the girls eating jelly or yogurt or both, on the couch with half-eaten apples or pears on the floor. I’ve come out of a morning after I’ve made the girls breakfast and then gone back to lay in bed to feed the baby, to find them with a loaf of bread just sitting there eating slices of bread. I have put child locks on our fridge and cupboard it took about a week for Savannah to work out how to open them. It’s soo easy to say oh just put it up high or just put child locks on everything. If a child wants something they will find a way to get it.
Yes I have watched a few series on Netflix, I have watched all seasons of gossip girl but I don’t think I have watched a single episode or season for that matter from start to finish because I’m too busy chasing down kids that have gotten into something they shouldn’t have or ones crying because the other has a toy they want or one hit the other or someone has a pooey nappy or needs their bum wiped, or they’re hungry or their drinks empty or any of the million other reasons. And yes my tv is on all day most days but doesn’t mean I get to watch it all day most of the time its just n for background noise or to keep the kids occupied. So yes some of us stay at home mums do watch tv, some of us don’t.
I think we all need to stop judging stay at home mums, you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. Some of us really struggle some of us manage and some of us totally rock at it and are doing just great. Some of us work from home, some of us don’t. Some of us put our kids in care so we can get work done or even just clean our house or have the time to ourselves because we need the break and have no other option. And some of us like myself choose not to and have them at home all day with us. Both options are ok. What works for you might not work for someone else, and that is ok. Mums need to be supporting each other not judging and tearing each other down.
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