Mummy To Twins Plus One
I’ve nearly been a mum for ten years. During these years I feel like who I am has changed, or more like it the perception of who I am has.
Before kids I was eager to climb the corporate ladder, to progress to a bigger and better job. I was studying a post grad degree (That I ended up finishing when the twins were babies and graduated when they were five).
However after kids the perception of me is the following:
- I’m just a mum
- Housekeeper
- Taxi driver
- Chef
- Referee
- Coordinator of all
- And unfortunately stressed, tired and constantly exhausted.
Mums often miss out on things they wish to do due to money, no babysitting available, or no flexibility of jobs to work remotely. Sad but true.
I recently spent some time with a fellow mum that I hadn’t seen for a long time. We are mates on Facebook, in my working life we worked together at the same company, and have remained friends.
We now have five kids between us, three for me and two for her. During our day, it was clear that she like other mums was trying to find her feet after years of being mum and being on kid duty.
My friend was trying to understand what was the next thing to do in her work life…and a job that will fit in with kids to boot.
It is hard when you have the wish to find a job that you are skilled to do, and one that fits in with your new life as a mother.
Lately I have been drooling over job advertisements. I can do the job no problem, but getting to Manly or the North Shore is not a good fit for me being in the Blue Mountains. All these roles are computer based, in this age of technology you would think that more would be remote roles and have a catch up each fortnight if needed, otherwise it can all be done online.
I miss working. I miss being a productive team member to a business and being rewarded when I hit my KPI’s. Yes, I was that employee.
Having an outlet is so important. It is a place for you to just be you, and not someone’s mummy.
A place where you are applauded for your years of experience, knowledge and thoughts. Wouldn’t this be great if this happened at home too! You have a great fix for something and then out of the blue comes applause and a bonus for your efforts. Pity that the role of mother is unpaid.
Seeing my kids grow up and being there for them is magical and a great experience. However, there are times that I feel that I am seen as just mum and nothing else is rather frustrating.
I have at times felt lost. I feel like the real me is not me anymore. Do you feel like this sometimes?
I think my mojo has taken an extended holiday and hasn’t not told me when it will be back.
Being a mum I believe it is important to have an outlet just for you.
It doesn’t have to be a paid job for you to have your space or an interest.
Some ideas are:
- Courses – Sewing, computer, art, photography, and more
- Exercise – Yoga, gym, swimming or walking
- Craft – Escape to your art room or space – Make sure that your partner takes the kids so you can work on your project.
- Painting/Art – Why not try your hand at painting. No matter your skill level it is a relaxing way to spend some time.
- Photography – Take your passion for photography one step further and learn more. Invest in a class and this way you are out of the house, learning and meeting new people too.
- Cooking – You might be a fab cook and start a home based business selling cakes and cookies.
- Websites – If you are a whiz at web design and development you can do this from home and earn while looking after the kids.
- Design – You might be a graphic designer and do a few mates business cards or flyers. You never know where this might lead.
- Consulting – Do one on one consulting, this way you can keep up your skills and do it when you can. Advertise the days and hours you are free and then book in clients for these times. You can work while the kids are at school or care.
- Reading Groups/Book Club – Create a reading group of fellow mums or other interested people. This way you are reading, learning and meeting new people.
- Blog – If you are interested in blogging why not start your own. It helped me, as my site is my outlet and something just for me. Plus you never know what it will lead to.
- Write a book – You might love to write and decide to write a book/TV Show or Film. You can do whatever you wish.
- Volunteer – If you have the time volunteering at the school, business or charity is a nice idea.
- Part time Job – If you are lucky enough to find a job that fits in with the family then this is great.
- Time off – Get your partner to take the kids so that you can have some time for you. Read a book, write an article or just have a bath without kids interrupting you. The time alone will be bliss!
- Childcare – If your partner cannot help with time off booking kids into childcare, before and after school care and maybe swap with another mum to look after yours and then next time you look after hers. This way you can work on a project or do something for you.
Having a hobby, job, course or something that feeds your soul is super important.
A space for you will allow you to find you again. To get your joy back for life. Yes, I know kids and family are joy, but sometimes it is not all fun times, and many times it feels like a real hard slog.
Everyone needs time for them. Everyone needs alone time, if not we would go crazy.
We need to put ourselves on the to do list, make sure that you schedule time to do what you want for a change.
One huge benefit of doing something just for you, is that you end up happier and healthier. See it is now essential isn’t it!
Do you crave an outlet? If you have one what are you doing that makes you feel awesome? If not what would you love to be doing today?
You may also like to read:
The importance of me time: Part 1
The importance of me time: Part 2
5 Things to let go of in parenting that will save your sanity
