Australian Association of Psychologists Inc
In my practice, I work with people of all ages who are experiencing and trying to navigate difficult times in their lives. I am continually reminded of the importance of relationships and support networks during these times of need.
The support received from family, friends and community members can make a huge difference in their ability to cope with difficult times. This support seems to be even more essential for teenagers. We know how important friendships are for teenagers during the good times but they are vital in the difficult times.
Friends help teenagers develop their independence and identity while giving them a sense of belonging, understanding and support.
Resilience is the ability to cope and withstand life’s ups and downs. Resilience helps us get through, bounce back and learn from our challenges.
How can parents help their teens build resilience?
- Being supportive and open to discussing our teen’s concerns. Parents can provide a good sounding board and help their teen problem-solve and work out how to manage any challenges. It’s important for parents to be non-judgmental and show that you understand how serious the situation feels for their teen while explaining how you once experienced similar issues (normalising their concerns) and how they got through it.
- Support our young people to develop a wide and varied social support When young people have a good support network of friends, family and community members, they can cope better with everyday challenges such as arguments with friends, issues at school etc. The support is vital in helping young people navigate major life challenges such as family issues, death of loved ones (including pets), illness or chronic bullying. When we have a wider support network, we can seek care and advice from those who can most understand our situation and provide the support we need. For example, if your teen is experiencing bullying within their friendship group at school, it would make sense for them to seek advice and support from their other friends who aren’t associated with that group of friends. They may have close friends from a sporting team, extra-curricular activity, childhood friends, friends from their primary school, who can provide support and distraction from the issues they are facing in their current school or home life. The presence of these other friends can boost their self-esteem until the situation at their school resolves.
- Facilitating our teens to maintain their range of friendships. As parents we may need to organise and encourage our teens to catch up with their friends, especially when they are feeling down or overwhelmed. School holidays are a great time to catch up with the friends they don’t see everyday at school. Many teens have several close friends who end up attending different high schools and it’s important to maintain these friendships.
- Relationships with extended family members are also important for teens and their resilience to life’s challenges. Family members from different generations can provide different perspectives and different types of support.
- Role modelling our own positive coping strategies and resilience to our teens is also Life is always going to have ups and downs and explaining to our teens how we cope when things are tough helps them develop their own skills and resilience.
For some great free resources to help teens understand their mental health and well-being, visit:
https://trailstowellness.org/materials/cbt-and-mindfulness-groups/resources/psychoeducation
About Karen
Karen is the Vice President of the Australian Association of Psychologists (AAPi) and has more than 20 years experience working as a psychologist. She owns a private practice in Brisbane’s north (Mind Revive Psychology, www.mindrevive.com.au) and works with people across the lifespan, and has a background in disability, child protection, children’s counselling, trauma therapy and animal-assisted therapy. Karen also is the parent of a teenager.
