Leanne Tran Psychology
Time-in is an alternative to time-out that focuses on positive reinforcement and connection rather than isolation and punishment. It involves spending quality time with your child to help them regulate their emotions, reflect on their behaviour, and learn new skills. Here’s how to use time-in effectively:
- Choose a calm, supportive environment: Select a quiet, comfortable space where you and your child can have a conversation without distractions. This could be a cozy corner of the living room, your child’s bedroom, or anywhere else that feels safe and nurturing.
- Use time-in proactively: Instead of waiting until your child misbehaves to use time-in, incorporate it into your daily routine as a way to connect and bond with your child. Set aside dedicated time each day to spend one-on-one with your child, engaging in activities they enjoy or simply talking and listening to each other.
- Focus on building a positive relationship: Use time-in as an opportunity to strengthen your bond with your child and reinforce positive behaviours. Offer praise and encouragement for their efforts, and show interest in their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Make them feel valued and appreciated.
- Teach problem-solving skills: Use time-in as a time to teach your child problem-solving skills and alternative behaviours. Discuss what happened leading up to the challenging behaviour, explore possible solutions together, and brainstorm strategies for handling similar situations in the future.
- Encourage emotional expression: Create a supportive environment where your child feels comfortable expressing their emotions openly and honestly. Validate their feelings and help them identify and label their emotions, teaching them healthy ways to cope with and manage their feelings.
- Set clear expectations: Clearly communicate your expectations for behaviour during time-in, emphasizing respect, cooperation, and active participation. Encourage your child to listen and share their thoughts and feelings respectfully, and model positive communication skills yourself.
- Be patient and empathetic: Approach time-in with patience, empathy, and understanding. Recognize that behaviour change takes time and effort, and be supportive of your child’s progress, no matter how small. Offer gentle guidance and encouragement, and avoid criticizing or shaming your child for their mistakes.
Overall, time-in is a positive, proactive approach to discipline that focuses on building a strong parent-child relationship, teaching valuable life skills, and fostering emotional regulation and self-awareness. By using time-in consistently and with empathy, parents can create a supportive environment where their child feels loved, valued, and empowered to make positive choices.
