Kiddipedia
Just glance & answer.
There are no right or wrong answers.
Use these points as a kick-off for conversation.
Naming Bebe
Whose last name will the baby take (if either of yours)? Will the baby have the dad’s last name, mum’s, or be hyphenated?
Will you create a new last name? How will you choose a middle name?
Is it important that the middle name is a family name? Will the middle name be something meaningful from partner’s side of the family who didn’t get the last name?
Are there any naming traditions on either side of your family? How do you feel about nicknames?
How will it feel for one partner if you have separate last names, and the baby takes one of them?
Feeding and Breastfeeding
Will you breastfeed your baby, exclusively pump, or formula feed?
If you formula-feed, do you have a strong stance on the type of formula?
If you choose to breastfeed, how long are you hoping to do so?
If you choose to breastfeed, how hard and how far are you willing to try to make breastfeeding work?
If breastfeeding comes at the expense of her mental health, your sexual relationship, or body image, what is more important?
Do you have any plans for or strong stances on feeding baby solid food?
Do either of you have specific food and nutrition preferences for the baby? (ie no dairy, vegan, gluten free etc)
If family or friends are looking after bubs, do you expect them to stick to your food preferences? If they don’t, will you communicate this to them and how?
Family Unit and Values
Will you (or do you plan to) co-sleep? Side sleeper? Own bed? Something else?
Will you sleep train your child? If so, at what age? and what method?
Will you raise kids to believe in Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Elf on the Shelf?
What are your core family values (ie feminist values, religious values, etc)?
What parenting choices are a hard line for you, where you absolutely will not budge and where are you willing to be flexible?
Swearing around kids – yay/nay?
Do you expect your teenage children to work a part-time jobs?
If yes, at what age is it ok for your kid to get a job? Do you expect certain grades in school?
What are the expectations for your child to contribute to the household?
Are smoking, drugs, alcohol (parental usage) okay around children?
How will you react if your child is gay? Transgendered? What if your child makes a mistake (like gets pregnant/impregnates someone in high school?
Are sleepovers okay?
Are mealtimes together important?
How will you make time for ‘family time’, and how important is it?
How will you each approach baby and child interaction (eg are you always playing with him or her, or do you expect self entertainment at least a portion of the time?)
Are extracurricular activities important? How many is too many?
Do you make your kid stick with something even if they don’t seem into it, or is it important they they follow through and don’t quit?
What family traditions do you hope to establish?
Relationship
How will you make time for your relationship after the child is born?
How will you resolve conflicting parenting styles arguments? What actions will you take if you come against a point of friction that can’t be resolved?
If you’re not already married, is it important for one or both of you to get married?
What is each of your love language?
How will you show each other appreciation?
What issues need to be resolved before you conceive/have the baby?
Libido changes, how will this be managed and what expectations do you have around sex during pregnancy and postpartum?
Family and Family Involvement
How will you divide Christmas and other holidays?
Who will you let babysit? This isn’t limited just to family, but it’s an important question. Who are you both comfortable having babysit your children?
Who will you let your children stay with for an extended period of time?
If your mother, father, in laws, sister, brother, etc want to take your child on a trip, or offer to give you a weekend or week away, will you take the opportunity?
How important is extended family involvement?
How you’re going to take unsolicited advice from important friends and family?
Who will the baby go to if something happens to both of you?
Will you assign ‘godparents’? If so, who? What will each grandparent be called?
Who are you comfortable with your child calling ‘aunty’, ‘uncle’ etc?
What is the role of step parents, spouses or partners of divorced parents etc?
Discipline and Boundaries
What do you imagine is your discipline style with children? Is physical discipline okay?
If so, how far are you willing to take physical discipline? Is raising your voice and yelling okay?
How would you parent a child who:
Displays bully behaviour or has been identified as bullying others?
Is having a challenging time in school? Swears?
Hits another kid?
Is hit by another kid? Bites someone?
Runs from you? Won’t share?
What is your stance on time outs?
Money
Will you have a budget?
If you haven’t already combined your finances, will you when the baby arrives?
If not, how will you split child-related expenses? Who/How will you manage expenses of the pregnancy? If one partner earns less than the other (either because of staying home with children or otherwise), how will the finances be managed and divided?
How will stay-at-home parents or lower-earners be protected financially in the case that your relationship doesn’t work out?
If not both of you, who will assume a leadership role in the family finances?
If you have the financial means, will you pay for uni for your children?
What is your stance on giving children an allowance?
Will you make a will for your family before the baby is born? Do you have life / health insurance? Is this important?
How will your spending habits change with a baby? How will you approach baby gear and acquiring all the things needed to support a child and baby?
Screen time and Social Media
Is children watching television okay? Will you restrict screentime?
How many hours per week are you comfortable allowing children to watch?
Will you post on social media about your children?
Are you comfortable if other people post photos of your children without your permission?
If not, how will you handle photos being posted of your children or family without permission?
Will you allow children to be on social media? If so, at what ages?
Will you monitor their social accounts if you do allow them? Will you monitor children’s overall computer usage?
What age do you think appropriate to have devices, if deemed ok?
Lifestyle
Where will you live?
Will you move from where you live now?
How important is it to have your children grow up in one constant town?
How many children do you each want?
What happens if one partner desperately wants a second (or third, etc) and the other doesn’t?
What happens if you experience infertility or secondary infertility?
What will you do to make it happen (adoption, surrogate, IVF, etc) if you experience this?
What are non-negotiables for you each as far as lifestyle goes?
Are you homebodies, or would you like to be able to travel with your children?
What type of hobbies do you want to engage in on your own, as a family, with kids?
Household (possibly the most explosive topic)
Who will be responsible for what portion of the household work when the baby arrives?
Is the division of household labor dependent on workload/schedules?
What duties ie: washing, dishes, dusting, gardening etc will each of you assume around the house?
How important is a clean home vs. a tidy home to each of you?
When your child is old enough, will you expect him or her to contribute to the household chores?
Work and Careers
Is it important that one of you stays home to take care of children?
If one of you plans to stay home with children, who will that be?
Will you take all of your parental leave? Will you take additional time to be at home with baby?
If you plan to take unpaid time off with your baby, who will do this?
Will each partner’s work impact the portion of childcare each one does when at home?
Will sleep schedules change based on each partner’s work? If your child is sick and needs to be picked up from daycare, preschool, or school, who will usually be responsible for leaving work to do so?
If you’re both working, how will the working partner manage their schedule to allow not only for family time but also for couple time?
Safety
Are there any unsafe hobbies or activities you’re uncomfortable with your significant other or yourself doing after children (i.e. motorcycling, contact sports, etc)?
What is your stance on health precautions? (Ie is it okay for your child to eat dirt, put something in their mouth that’s been on the floor?)
How do you feel about medication for your baby and child?
Will you baby-proof the house? Will you have a ‘playpen’ for baby?
Random Theme Q’s but also important ones
Will you raise your children to practice any specific religion? If so, which?
If babe is a boy, what is your opinion on circumcision?
Will you allow religious influence from people outside of your immediate family, such as grandparents, aunts or uncles?
Will you vaccinate your children?
What do you envision being each of your parenting styles? What is your stance on physical punishment (smacks, hitting, etc)?
How do you feel about gender stereotypes, gender norms? How important is organic/non-organic to you?
Will you cloth diaper / disposable or do elimination communication?
Do you have any strong stances on traditions?
Will you undergo genetic testing during pregnancy? What will you do if, during genetic testing, it is shown that the baby has a chromosomal abnormality/disability?
Credits to: The Haus of Health
