I recall, years ago, I ducked into a supermarket to grab a few things and while in a supermarket aisle and there was a mum nearby with her small child who was being reprimanded. Which I’m sure we’ve all done in a public environment.
Then the mum got annoyed and frustrated and said something to her child. She called her child a stupid idiot for not listening to her.
That broke my heart. I couldn’t help but wonder how the child felt and how often they hear those words. From the person who they look up to, admire, and who they learn so much from. Both the good and the bad.
Say what you see
Nobody is stupid, and nobody is an idiot. But their behaviour might be idiotic. We all have moments where our behaviour has been idiotic. But we’re not idiots. They’ve been mistakes we’ve done, wrong choices we’ve made, things we’ve done that we have learnt from – in hindsight.
It’s easy to point out mistakes, of our own or of others. How come? Is it because we humans accept criticism more easily than compliments? Start taking note of how many times you criticise someone, including yourself, and whether it’s spoken or just in your head, be aware of it.
After all, according to the law of attraction, what you put out is what comes back to you. Therefore we, both you & I, need to change that. Begin by purposefully looking at the positives in someone include yourself. And give compliments freely – but only if you are honest and sincere.
Recently I was having a phone conversation with Olivia Sinco, a lady who writes a blog called The Blue Word which helps parents with highly sensitive children as she has three of her own.
I’d recently seen a video Olivia had done and was talking to her about that. The topic was food and Olivia mentioned how one of the things she puts in her son’s lunch box was English spinach which they had agreed on for nutritional reasons.
What was interesting about our conversation was that Olivia trusted her son to keep his word and eat the spinach as part of his packed lunch. I was asking Olivia about this as I suspect some kids would just toss it and say they’d eaten it.
Apparently, at dinner time this is the way she sees him eat his spinach, so it’s not unusual for him to digest spinach in that way.
Coming from you
I mentioned how it was great that she trusted her son to keep their agreement and that she felt he was trustworthy in doing so. Olivia responded with something like she’ll tell her son I thought he was trustworthy.
Her son doesn’t know me from a bar of soap. Me thinking he was trustworthy wouldn’t mean a thing to him. But coming from her could mean the world. I pointed out that it wasn’t relevant that her son is aware that some stranger sees him a trustworthy.
It’s important that Olivia tell him that she sees as trustworthy. This could be mentioned as he takes his lunchbox out of his bag and places it on the kitchen sink. It could be brought up in conversation at the dinner table. Or when they are cuddling on the lounge watching a movie together.
Don’t miss the opportunity to say what you see and compliment your children on their positive characteristics. This builds their confidence and reinforces positive behaviour. Her son becomes self-aware and chooses to be trustworthy in other situations that arise. All because his mum pointed it out in the first place.
If you’d like to ‘Join My Tribe’ and focus on a characteristic each week with your child so you can build your child’s awareness and confidence click here.