Talking about sex can be very embarrassing for many people. So what happens when your child asks you how babies are made?
There are three important points to consider when talking to children about reproduction.
- Be confident
Talking about reproduction and sex should always be spoken about with confidence. For many generations, sex has been a taboo topic and it doesn’t need to be that way. Try to remain calm, confident and matter a fact when responding to this question. If your child can sense stress, embarrassment or shame then they can develop those same feelings which can affect their intimacy when they are older.
- Be as factual as possible
When answering questions about reproduction, always try and be as factual as possible. Children will only understand what information they are ready to understand so don’t dumb it down.
- Always use the correct names for body parts
Using the correct names for body parts is not only important for children to learn so that they do not feel ashamed or embarrassed to call them by the correct name but it is also a known fact that paedophiles often refer to body parts using pet names so if your child refers to their genitals by a pet name you would be able to identify a possible red flag immediately.
Keep it simple
The first conversation that you have with your child could be as simple as, the lady has eggs inside her body and men have sperm inside their testicles. The sperm are like little tadpoles and when they swim into the ladies egg it makes a baby.
This response is often all a child needs to hear. It could take years before they need to ask more questions or they might need to know more straight away.
What happens when they want to know about how the sperm actually gets inside the lady?
Talking about sex should be casual and honest. It’s important to tell your children that people have sex because it feels good and not just to make babies.
You can still keep it simple or go into as much detail as you feel comfortable.
This is the explanation I gave my eldest when she asked “but how exactly is the baby made?” when she was 6 years of age.
Sometimes adults like to kiss each other and they touch each other’s bodies which makes them feel really good. The man’s penis goes inside the vagina and the sperm comes out his penis and swims towards the ladies eggs. If the sperm goes through the egg, then a baby can start to grow. Nearly three years on, she has not needed to ask any other questions as this is as much information as she needs right now.
Although there are other ways to fall pregnant, unless your child knows someone directly who has been through IVF or fallen pregnant through an egg and sperm donors etc, these explanations would possibly come at a later date so as not to over complicate the situation.
Understanding the body
Understanding the body from early on is a great way for children’s knowledge to naturally progress.
My children have always been aware that once a month, my uterus fills with blood and if a baby is growing then the blood stays inside to help the baby grow but if there is no baby then the blood comes out my vagina. These conversations have always occurred organically, and I believe are the reason that they are so comfortable with talking about bodies.
These conversations are always best done organically which means they can occur in any place and at any time so be prepared and remain calm and confident.
You’ve got this!
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