Trish Corbett
Bullying is a form of control
Nobody likes bullying, except the bullies, because that is how they feel good about themselves. Bullies want power and control. Nothing in life stays the same and everything changes all the time by either gaining or losing momentum. Bullying included.
When children start school, one of the biggest fears many parents have and worry about is if their child will be bullied, or would they become the feared bully? Discussions take place with friends about whether you would prefer your child to be bullied or be the bully. Naturally neither is preferred. But is that likely these days?
In Australia, we have had the extremities of both situations within the past week. A seemingly new level of control has left Australia stunned with a controlling father burning his wife and their three beautiful children to death before killing himself. The other case in point is the bullying of 9-year-old Quaden Bayles who expressed to his mother his desire to kill himself due to how his school ‘mates’ treated him.
Can you imagine your child coming home so distraught that you felt that you have no option but to put a video on social media of your child sobbing their broken heart out? Then pleading with everyone to educate their children, families and friends so that together we can eliminate bullying – or at least reduce it?
There is an alternative which we can make happen – together.
Boundaries are essential
Change is no longer wanted; we now need it – desperately. ASAP. Consequently, limits are required. Many people have worked in organisations which have a ‘zero tolerance’ policy yet are fully aware that bullying still exists in that organisation and are likely to come from the very top levels of the organisation.
Children become adults and therefore, employees and managers, so bullying transfers itself from the schoolyard to the workplace. People leave their workplaces because of the bullying culture, which affects their health. In doing so skills, knowledge and importantly people with integrity that could benefit any organisation hugely are lost in that process.
Therefore, it stands to reason that educating children regarding behaviour that is acceptable and unacceptable is where we should start. As a personal life coach who has coached both teenagers and older adults, it is much easier, as well as a quicker process, to help people with their self-awareness and self-development the younger they are.
Role Modelling
Leaders are people that you want to follow, not because you have to because of their title or position. Authentic leadership is something that inspires people to take action rather than intimidates people to take action.
Therefore, the reason I wrote a book ‘How To Raise Kids With Integrity’ and aimed it at parents, childcare educators and teachers is because this fantastic bunch of people have the most influence over the next generation.
Regardless of what role you have in a child’s life, it is a tough gig these days. Every industry, including the education sector, lose good people because of bullying also.
What is important is that you do your best every day and continue to educate yourself on how you can do better using both words and actions. Be supportive of your fellow role models and ask if there is anything you can do to help rather than criticise.
Most importantly, develop an attitude of cooperatively working together when possible, that is the desired action to strive for. Of course, it is not always possible for many reasons. However, this is an attitude which will serve everyone involved.
It’s just a viewpoint
Everybody has an opinion about everything these days, and like everything in life, it requires balance. Opinions are points of view which are developed individually as we all have different experiences, knowledge, skills and attitudes. We all formed our beliefs from a vast array of so many impacts in our life. Nobody has the same as anybody else.
There is so much bullying online these days, and while freedom of speech is integral for the growth of humanity, it also requires balance by the use of wisdom. Sharing a point of view shows confidence, but when that point of view moves from a personal perspective to a personal attack, it moves from a particular point of view to a form of aggression.
We’re all unique
Helping children to understand we are entirely different and that we are all unique, including them, benefits all of us. Teaching respect, acceptance and kindness are pivotal in helping kids contribute to the culture of their environment.
Teaching understanding helps children develop an inquisitive mind about what’s different. I don’t know about you, but the more I’ve got to understand somebody, the more I’ve liked them.
Education is the key
Children are the most valuable assets of the human race. For this reason, investing in their education is vital. Nelson Mandela once said that ‘Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world’.
To help you with your self-awareness and self-development and the children in your life you can sign up for my free weekly blog which focuses on one characteristic a week – responsibility, helpfulness, commitment, kindness, compassion. Whatever the theme is, I suggest you use that word daily and apply it by putting it into action. When you recognise that quality in yourself or someone else acknowledge it – it’s an easy way to make someone feel good – and in turn you feel good too. Join my tribe through my website: www.ethicalfoundations.com.au
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