Kiddipedia
One of the toughest parts of being a parent is having to tackle difficult conversations. Let’s face it, no-one wants to deal with the challenging talks that seem to be an inevitable part of life.
Whether you’ve been called in to meet with your child’s teacher or have a big appointment coming up with a medical specialist, participating in difficult conversations about your child is never easy.
As a special needs parent, I’ve been involved in my fair share of difficult conversations. The appointments where we received a diagnosis were heartbreaking. The meetings called to discuss escalating behaviour were confronting. The times I was caught on the hop without notice were infuriating.
Believe me, if you struggle with difficult conversations you are most certainly not alone!
While I’ve had some very difficult conversations, each experience has helped me become more comfortable and assertive when it comes time to sit down and tackle the hard moments of parenting.
Here are some practical tips that have helped me through the difficult conversations – hopefully they will help you too.
5 Tips for Tackling Difficult Conversations
Acknowledge Your Emotions
It’s much easier to stay calm and controlled in the heat of the moment if you are aware of your feelings before you begin. If possible, do your best to put your emotions to the side and stick to the facts, during the meeting. However, we are all human and sometimes our feelings can’t be contained. I’ve found that taking deep breaths and sticking to the facts during difficult conversations helps me stay calm, focused and in control.
Bring Along Support
You shouldn’t have to face difficult conversations alone. If possible, arrange for someone to come with you for support. Having someone there with you, backing you up in those tough moments, is one of the most effective strategies I’ve used over the years. Arrange for a partner, parent, family member or trusted friend to come along to give you support and guidance during difficult conversations.
Prepare Notes Ahead of Time
The most effective strategy I’ve used for tough conversations is to prepare notes ahead of time. This helps me to stick to the facts, make the points I feel are important and gives me focus for when my emotions start to take hold. If you’re anticipating a potential diagnosis, jot down your questions beforehand, when your head is clear. This way, you can ask the specialist about the next steps, even if you’re overwhelmed with emotion.
Agree to a Time That Suits You
If you know a difficult conversation is ahead, schedule it at a time that suits you. Don’t feel pressured to agree to a hastily arranged meeting, especially if you don’t have enough time to prepare. Ideally, the conversation should take place when you can fully focus on the talk, rather than trying to rush through it in order to make your next commitment. Arrange for your kids to be looked after too, so you can attend fully to the conversation.
Get Everything in Writing
Before finishing up the conversation, request written confirmation of the discussion. This serves a few purposes. It allows everyone a chance to review the outcome of the conversation with a clear head. It gives you a chance to correct the record or question things that you may have missed in the heat of the moment. Most importantly, it creates a paper trail that can be followed up and referred to in the future.
Difficult conversations are never enjoyable, but following these tips might help you get through your next difficult conversation with a little more support and confidence.
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