Dr Scott Zarcinas
by Dr. Scott Zarcinas
Emotions are powerful.
They can be the wind pushing your child toward their goals, or they can be the anchor ropes tying them to the spot.
So it’s very important to teach our children about emotional intelligence (EQ), which is the ability to understand, use, and manage emotions in positive ways. For instance, stress-management, effective communication, overcoming challenges, defusing conflict, problem solving, and so forth.
Psychologists characterise a person’s emotional intelligence by their ability to have good self-management, self-awareness, empathy, and communication (i.e. relationships).
Children with high emotional intelligence have been shown to perform better at school, have better physical and mental health, have strong relationships and connection to others.
But children with low emotional intelligence often do not perform so well at school or in their social environment. They are low on the scale of self-management, have low self-awareness, have little empathy of others, and find it difficult to communicate their needs and emotions.
Thankfully, emotional intelligence can be taught. You can improve your EQ just as you can improve your fitness.
But, as with anything you want to do well, it does take some practice. This is especially so with your child’s emotions.
There are many negative emotions that can impact their school performance and relationships, such as fear (e.g. the fear of failure, the fear of rejection, the fear of not being good enough or clever enough), hatred, jealousy, greed, and anger. Sometimes these emotions are expressed as excessive worrying, high anxiety, and physical ailments, like stomach aches and headaches.
These kinds of emotions, if not addressed, can limit your child’s effectiveness and success. We therefore need to educate our children to learn to recognise, accept, investigate, and take responsibility for their emotions.
Michael A. Singer, bestselling author of The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, uses the analogy of drawing the curtains to block out the sun.
The sun, in this instance, is our own sense of joy, peace, and freedom, which is our natural state of being. It’s who you already are.
When we draw the curtains against our own light, we make ourselves dark and gloomy. We must therefore stop drawing the curtains and blocking the light of our own joy, peace, enthusiasm, inspiration, and freedom.
This is a choice we make, and we need to educate our children that emotions are just such a choice.
We need to educate them that they have the power to choose positive, self-supporting emotions that work to their benefit, that work for them and not against them. Natural positive emotions such as enthusiasm, joy, inspiration, passion, courage, confidence, and self-love.
There are many other natural positive emotions that your child can tap into:
- the love of what you do
- the bliss of creating
- being in ‘the flow’
- harmony with what you’re doing and with your environment
- peace of mind
- the joy of being alive
- the freedom of being without limitation
- the awareness of abundance
- and many more
When used properly, that’s the power of emotion that’s inherent in all of us. We just need to teach our children how to tap into it, and it usually begins with their passion, their joy.
So let’s teach our children to discover their passion. Let’s encourage them to find their greatest joy. Let’s support them in choosing kindness and courage over fear and anger.
Then, once they are clear about what makes them happy, all we need to do as parents is help them to consciously and intentionally choose more of it.
So let’s help our kids to keep choosing what makes them happy, and soon they’ll find there’s no power for negative emotions in their day.
About DoctorZed
Dr. Scott Zarcinas (aka DoctorZed) is a doctor, author, and transformologist. He helps aspirational people to be happier, more confident, decisive, and effective so they can reach their potential and become the person they are capable of being. He specialises in helping work-at-home fathers build their self-esteem and self-belief so they have the confidence and the courage to live a life that is true to themself. DoctorZed gives regular workshops, seminars, presentations, and courses to support those who want to make a positive difference through positive action. Connect with him at:
F: www.facebook.com/YNSOB.by.Dr.Scott.Zarcinas/
T: www.twitter.com/DrScottZarcinas
L: www.linkedin.com/in/dr-scott-zarcinas-6572399/
