Most of us would agree we need to be stimulated in life. The problem is, often, we are either over or under stimulated, and finding the balance for a healthy lifestyle can be problematic.

We all have different demands on our energy. It can be so easy to get caught up meeting the needs of others, especially our children and as a consequence we lose sight of how to care for ourselves. When we give too much, we become exhausted and find we have nothing left to give.

When we take on too much, we become overstimulated. Thoughts tend to speed up and we can find ourselves overthinking or obsessing, causing us to feel tired but wired. Our emotions become more intense and erratic resulting in heightened sensitivity. This translates into nervous tension, causing added stress on the body and it’s systems.


Our experiences can drain us. Ultimately, when we overexert our physical energy we experience fatigue and find it difficult to keep up. When we overexert our mental energy, we find ourselves unable to hold our concentration. This causes our thoughts to flit and float, in and out of our mind. This challenges our ability to focus and stay on task. When we overexert our emotional energy, we can find ourselves emotionally drained with no more to give.

When we give to our detriment, we suffer. Giving too much is one-sided. If we distribute anything unevenly, it will not keep its balance. The moment we load something up on one side, it loses balance and comes toppling down.

Our energy is constantly trying to return to balance; therefore the longer we stay in an unbalanced state, the more the energy builds up. This leads to energetic blockages. To unblock the blockages and restore balance, you will need to acknowledge and shift your energy by applying effort to the neglected aspects of yourself and your life. Attend to what is unbalanced by counterbalancing.

  1. STOP the deficits in your life
  2. CHANGE by addressing the issues
  3. CHOOSE to be observant and assertive


The health of our mind is extremely important, having a healthy mind is determined by the thoughts we choose. Beyond the amount of time we spend thinking and the intensity of that thinking, the quality of our thoughts can also influence our energy.

When we hold onto negative thoughts, we create an energetic blockage in the mind as we struggle to clear this heavy sludge of negativity. This heaviness translates into the body and causes fatigue. Our lack of energy makes us feel sluggish, out of balance and weighed down. This can also affect our behaviour, resulting in lack of interest, reducing effort and effectiveness. When people reach this state they often give up because they can’t see a way out of this vicious cycle.

  1. STOP complaining
  2. CHANGE your mindset
  3. CHOOSE a better attitude


Our emotions cause us to be reactive. We tend to lose trust in our emotions because we get lost inside them. Strong emotions can overwhelm us, consume us and even frighten us. Some of us learn to supress our true feelings or we ignore them all together. This only causes them to build up beneath the surface and come bursting out sometime later.

Storing emotion causes an instability in our energy. The longer we supress them, the more damage they can cause. We often choose to hang on to them because we don’t want to upset anyone or we’re afraid of letting our true feelings show due to fear of being judged or not being accepted.

Some of us are overreactive when we produce stressful reactions frequently, this drains our energy. When emotions surge this only tends to inflame a situation, often blowing it out of proportion. The more we do this the more energy we leak out, and the more mess there is to clean up. When we react, we don’t think things through and as a result, we often regret our choices.

  1. STOP ignoring your feelings
  2. CHANGE your reactions by responding instead
  3. CHOOSE to stay focused and calm


Being consumed by expectations puts unnecessary pressure on ourselves. Expectations show up in many ways. What we expect from ourselves, from others and what we think they expect from us. Are you telling yourself stories of should and shouldn’t? Are you enslaved by the idea of what makes a GOOD PARENT?

The moment you feel upset, angry or disappointed you can be sure one of your expectations didn’t get met. Expectations create a lot of pressure in our lives as they hold our present sense of wellbeing hostage to a future that may or may not happen. It’s our expectations that create rigidity and push us into control mode. When we are controlled by our expectations we are living a conditional life and we don’t feel free.

  1. STOP trying to live up to expectations
  2. CHANGE your story
  3. CHOOSE to explore the possibilities


Understanding, managing and being able to optimise our energy is key to happiness, health and fulfillment. The key is remaining in balance. Being balanced brings fullness to our experiences and also means having the resources to pursue what we desire. This offers a myriad of possibilities, where we get to choose the kind of life we want.

Be in your life, be with your life and be with those important people with whom you share your life. Embrace your experiences. Choose not to struggle, even if what you’re experiencing is not quite what you want at this time. Allow yourself to be with your challenges; don’t fight against them. Decide to transform them instead.


Leanne Oliver is a Self-Awareness Educator and Mentor, who is passionate about increasing the self-knowledge and understanding in others. She is the author of The UnCommon Sense 10 keys to unlocking your energetic sensory potential. She lives and works in Melbourne, Victoria.






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