Divorce Answered

Divorce Answered

Raising a young family and divorcing was a tumultuous and difficult time. During the divorce process, my children were incredibly fortunate to have so many amazing men step-up and care for their emotional and mental wellbeing. Enlisting the help and support of other interested adults close to the children makes your job as a parent easier – these other adults become your family – these are the people who back you up, have broad shoulders for you to lean on, help to guide and shape your child and love them with all that they can. This year, to Father’s Day, I encourage you to celebrate the many men who take the shape of a Father figure in your life and your children’s lives.

Men that step into the role of a positive male role model are choosing to invest their time and attention into you and your children. Being a positive male role model isn’t a role that was assumed by the birth of a child – it was a conscious choice to be more present and connected than they could otherwise prefer to be.

The choice to be involved and invested creates the most special and magical bond that time and space can’t break. It’s a unique relationship that extends beyond the daily responsibilities of raising a child (the cooking, cleaning, transporting …) and shifts to mentor, confidant, advisor and friend as well as role model.

For my family, we are celebrating three ‘Dads’ in the children’s lives this year … The grandfather who shares a passion for fishing, golf and tennis. The uncle who is a confidant and mentor, present at school events and dance classes and shares his beloved pet. My partner who is showing the children how to treat a spouse in a relationship and how to work as a team.

Each of these people are making an invaluable impression on the children. They are teaching the children what it is to be a positive male role model, how to behave as an adult in the community and how adults and children can interact, relate and bond. These amazing men are also teaching social behaviours, morals and ethics and social consciousness.

How many ‘Dad’s’ are present in your child’s life?

You may be fortunate to have the child’s father as well as their grandfathers, uncles, cousins, step-father, your partner, a neighbour, teacher or doctor. The options are vast yet the traits are similar – love, care, interest, connectedness and support.

Families take all different shapes and forms nowadays. Some children live with their grandparent or uncle. Others are more isolated from their relatives. No matter what the distance that a child has from the many different male role models in their life, it doesn’t change their relationship – it remains an exchange of listening, feeling heard, connecting and supporting. These Dads are the family and community that your child needs and can turn to. They are the very special men to celebrate this Father’s Day 2019.

The only things you and your children have to decide are how many Dads you are celebrating this year and how you are going to show these Dads how much they mean to you.

You may also like to read:

Recognising ALL our dads on Father’s Day

3 ways to have a more enjoyable Fatherhood