I’ve been there, I’ve done it. I’ve come out the other end.
This makes me all-knowing and wise. Well, I like to think so anyway!
Divorce is understandably associated with negativity and is certainly not a bucket list item. Yet for some, divorce is a necessity, and from it, wonderful things can happen. Things you hadn’t thought of, or seem too far-fetched whilst you’re going through the darker days.
So, I’m here to tell you to keep going and stay strong, because there may be some lovely surprises awaiting you.
Here are six things you may not expect after a divorce.
So simple, yet so very important. If you are dealing with divorce, it’s possible you’ve had a deficiency in happiness for a number of years. The stress involved with the separation can be all-encompassing. But stay strong on your journey to become a newby single parent. For this is your chance of real happiness as you build a new life .. the way YOU want it.
I know, I know. You might be thinking you’ve had enough excitement to last a lifetime. But I mean the ‘good’ type of excitement. OK, things didn’t turn out as you had hoped, but you have a new life ahead of you. And, once you get over the enormity of it .. it is exciting. I speak to so many single mums who are child-like with excitement over their new home, their amazing achievements or even their total control over the TV remote when the kids are in bed.
As much as it pains me to say it, there is STILL a stigma about single mums. As a single parent, you are sitting on the periphery of what society considered a ‘normal’ family. This makes us realise how normal being abnormal is! Family comes in all shapes and sizes, and we know first-hand that stereotypical does not mean happy. You become more accepting, and embrace anything or anyone slightly left of centre .. and it feels good.
Now, this is where it gets really exciting. I consider divorce as a different path. A new one. If you walk along a new path you will discover, see and experience new things. And with this comes new opportunities. I can not tell you the number of single mums in my group who are back in education and training/doing jobs they had never considered in their married years. It is as though all the doors that were locked before your divorce, can be opened. And new opportunities are there for the taking.
If there is one thing I strive for post-divorce, it is peace and contentment. After a deteriorating relationship, a break-up and the start-up of a new single life, we crave peace. And if you want it, you can find it. Working hard on your co-parenting relationship, teaching your children good values and taking time to find yourself, are all good starting points. Enjoy the simple things in life, that are free of stress and drama .. a walk in the park, a morning coffee or undiluted fun time with your kids.
Not taking it away from partnered parents, but single parenting is a whole new world. And it’s not a particularly easy one. But with new challenges, we discover new strengths within ourselves. I have tapped into abilities I didn’t know I had, and would never have discovered had I not become a single mum. Both practical and emotional. The journey to become a single parent leaves us stronger than ever before. I don’t about you? But I feel like I could take on the world.
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