A Mums Instinct

A Mums Instinct

This is an explanation of the phenomena of how nature really is supporting the connections in the early days in particular between a mum and their newborn baby.

You are tired, exhausted, you have never known sleep deprivation as severe as this EVER. It is like torture. You feel that you literally cannot function for one more minute without some sleep. Then. You have a well-meaning family member, or beautiful doting dad deciding to “take” the baby for you so you can get some rest…BUT THEN…. you can’t sleep.

You hear the baby crying in the next room, because that beautiful well-meaning person can’t seem to settle them the way you can. Or there is silence, you wonder…Are they ok? Is the person holding them the right way? Have they taken the baby so far away that you can’t hear them and really the baby is crying somewhere out of ear shot….You then CAN’T sleep or rest, as you are anxious thinking about what your baby is doing. Something just feels OFF, you cannot just relax. You think it is because you are so sleep deprived, thinking that is why you are so anxious or worried.

So, the whole exercise is futile.

So many mums have this EXACT same feeling. You are not alone. There is a reason for this….there is science behind the bond, that is like no other, between a mum and their newborn baby. You see, nature had this fine way, that ensured you kept your baby close to you, as otherwise they would be in danger if you were not within arm’s reach, offering your caring motherly instincts ensuring the baby was always safe.

The reason…amongst many….is,

Our babies are connected to us well before we get to touch their skin and smell their sweet newborn smell. We are connected by energy first.

You can palpably ‘feel’ energy in your body. Like when you walk into a room and know whether the people in it are happy, sad, angry or that there is something “off” about the vibe in the room. This is because we all have what is called heart waves and brain waves. These waves are an energy that is emitted from our hearts and our brains, which have a different frequency or vibration depending on the persons emotions coming from them.

People often have an understanding regarding brain waves, as it is what is easily measured with those electrodes placed on their head to see if the brains function etc when the person is in a coma, or when they are under general anaesthetic. However, heart waves are less spoken about, but so much more important when you have just had a newborn baby.

Heart waves travel approximately 3 metres from the body (and I am sure likely more, but that is what science has measured so far). These heart waves are part of what is the palpable energy that we feel when we are near someone, that feeling that we get when someone stands behind us. We feel them before we see them. Our hearts emit these waves, like signatures of who we are. Our energy cannot lie, it is what is coming from us well before any words or body language are seen.

So, this is particular important to understand when it comes to the mum baby day. The baby, who whilst inside the womb, felt their mums heart waves, they understood the fluctuations; this calmed or excited them throughout the pregnancy. When a baby is born, placing the baby on the mother’s chest will calm the baby down immensely, not just because of the ‘sound’ of the heartbeat, but the energy felt from the heart will be their calm sense of security. They get to have that full force of the heart waves of the mum, with zero interruptions, like when in the womb. Babies will settle quicker with mum when ‘within’ the distance of the heart wave vibrations; this amazing hack of nature, works even when they become older children, even when they are adults…they will feel this sense of security with their mums heart wave vibration.

But it works both ways! The mum, she will also FEEL when her baby is away from her.

Many mums talk about the “missing” feeling of having the baby inside their belly. That feeling of loss. This is partly because they have no longer got that uninterrupted sense of their baby being near them and therefore ensuring they are safe. This stands to reason then, that when a mother is being separated by distance from the baby after they are born, or taken into another room, she will likely feel fretful or anxious, not because she herself has anxiety, but the sense that she is no longer in ‘feeling’ distance to the heart waves of her baby. This feeling is so intense at times, especially in the early days after birth, up to even 3 months.

So well- meaning family members, when doing the loving thing of giving mum some much needed rest, actually do best by sitting or being in the same room as the mum WITH the baby, even if the baby is crying. If the baby is crying and in the other room, the mum will hear this anyway and start to become worried if their baby is ok. If the mum can hear the other care giver soothing or doing loving gestures to the baby in her “heart wave vicinity”, this will do much more for alleviating the mums worry than taking the baby out of the room where the mum can no longer “feel” if it is working for the baby.

I tell mums and dads about this heart wave phenomena, as it explains so much in those early days after your baby is born AND it makes so much sense. Also, it is helpful for dads to understand, that it isn’t that the mum feels he can’t do the same as her, as dads are JUST as important in those early days as the mum, they just have different roles to play. The dad will often; as I have seen it with so many dads, have the protective need to ensure the safety of the mum-baby day. Nature really does support parents in some many facets. This understanding regarding heart waves, helps so much in one aspect of the relationship of parents, as they then realise that we all have a role to play in the family. Mums and babies need to be in close proximity of each other.

Honouring that we as parents all have something to add to the wellbeing of our babies, goes a long way for a harmonious family unit.


Love and Light always

Lisa x


You may also like to read:

Getting Back to Nature

Learning to Trust your Instincts…