Yvette Salvaris
Anger is an emotion that we all can relate to. It is perfectly normal to get angry and upset, everyone has been angry at some stage. However, it is not good for your anger to become out of control, especially for those around you. Many things can happen when you can’t control your anger such as physical fighting, erratic behaviour and stress-related issues. Therefore it is important to find ways to manage your anger to prevent it from getting out of hand.
Anger can become an issue when it starts to affect those around you. When you start lashing out at your workmates or your family, then it is time for you to get your anger under control. There are some signs that you should look for to indicate that your anger is getting out of control. Some of these signs are :
- People commenting on your anger
- You remain angry for a long period of time
- You are getting depressed and anxious more often
- You get angry easily
- People are afraid of you or to be near you
Why should we manage our anger?
While being angry can have a positive influence on our bodies and our mind, being angry all the time is not good for anyone. It’s not good to keep emotions bottled up as it can cause all sorts of issues. However, it’s also not good for you to be in a constant emotional state of anger.
When it comes to finding ways to manage anger, some may feel that it is not necessary to manage their anger as they find expressing anger to be liberating. Some may feel that suppressing their anger will make them not able to stand up for themselves. While all these are valid points of your anger controlling your life, then something needs to be done to manage it.
Anger management techniques
As with most issues to do with your own health and wellbeing, there is no right or wrong way to manage your anger. It is a matter of finding what suits you and what works for you. The first step is to be able to identify what makes you angry and what are warning signs that you are about to lose control. If you are aware of this, then you’re well on your way to managing your anger.
Identify your warning signs
When you next get angry pay attention to how your body reacts. Make a list of the things that you noticed. Did you clench your jaw? Did you feel a fight or flight urge? Some warning signs to look out for could be :
- Pounding heart
- Sweating
- Shaking
- Anxiety
- Raising your voice
Once you understand how your body reacts to anger, you can then find ways to deal with your emotions.
Strategies for managing anger
In this section, you will find ways to control your anger and strategies you can put into o place next time you feel you are about to lose control.
Control your thinking – The art of self-talk
When you are about to have an angry outburst or you are finding yourself getting angry, have a look at the thoughts that are running through your head at that time. Is your thinking getting irrational? Are you exaggerating what is really happening? Are you overthinking too much? If you change the way you think, you will find yourself becoming calmer and more in control. If you find yourself thinking the worst of a situation, you will only make yourself feel more anxious.
You could develop a list of mantras or saying that you can say to yourself when you find yourself in situations that make you angry. Make these phrases that focus on how you can manage the situation.
Time out
Do you remember back in your school days when someone did soothing wrong they were given time out, and this time out was sitting away from others or the situation that causes the issues? Well, the same technique can be used to control your anger. If you find yourself in a situation that is about to cause you to distress you can remove yourself from it and take time to calm down. Just ensure that you do go back and resolve the situation once you are calm.
Distraction
If you are about to get angry over something, find a way to distract yourself from the situation. Some people swear by counting to 100 helps them to calm down as they are thinking of something else. Others like to listen to music or do the dishes. Others like to do a task like colouring in or even gardening to take their mind off the issue. While distraction is a great short-term solution, it is important that you address the situation that caused you to become angry.
Next time you find negative thoughts creeping into your mind, think about ways you can tell yourself to think differently. For example: instead of telling yourself “it’s all too hard and you can’t stand it (which will cause you to get upset) maybe tell yourself “it may be frustrating, but it’s not the end of the world and you can fix it with some patience”.
You could develop a list of mantras or saying that you can say to yourself when you find yourself in situations that make you angry. Make these phrases ones that focus on how you can manage the situation rather than other people managing the situation for you.
When to seek professional help
If you find that your anger is becoming a major issue and that despite your best efforts nothing is working, then it’s best that you seek professional advice.
