Dannielle Illingworth

Dannielle Illingworth

In today’s society, a lot of us feel the pressure to look like we’ve got it “all figured out” all of the time. And that pressure only seems to increase when we become mothers.

The media seems to show nothing but celebrities bouncing back after birth, women juggling full time work and a family with apparent ease, and well-dressed versions of mums. I know for myself, most of the early days I hardly got out of my pyjamas, and my hair was in a permanent “mum-bun”. Well, actually, we’re one year into motherhood now and I’m still rocking the mum’bun!

The thing is, we don’t have to have it all together all of the time. We don’t need to be perfectly dressed, and have a perfectly tidy house, and perfectly behaved children, and a perfect relationship, and a perfect career, and perfect friendships. Motherhood is messy, and the more we can be honest and vulnerable with our real experience of it, the more others will feel free to do the same.

The pressure to seem perfect in all areas of your life is only amplified through social media, where everyone can pick and choose what they share, and what they don’t share. And really, most of the time someone’s social media profile is like a highlight reel of their life. Most people aren’t sharing photos of themselves on their worst days, or videos of their children’s meltdowns, or the other real life stuff that comes with being a parent. So it’s easy to look at social media and think you’re the only one struggling, when you’re not.

You’re not the only one who doesn’t shower every day.

You’re not the only one who loses their temper with their kids.

You’re not the only one who gets takeaway for dinner cause you haven’t cooked.

You’re not the only one who struggles to be in “mum mode” all of the time.

You’re not the only one finding this hard. Motherhood IS hard. And tiring and draining and intense. But it’s also amazing and beautiful and rewarding and unlike anything else. It’s all of those things, and that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be.

Motherhood isn’t supposed to be perfect.

It’s not supposed to be easy, all of the time.

And the less we pretend that it is, and the more honest we are with our struggles, the more we can connect with other mums who feel the same way.

Pretending you’re “okay” all of the time isn’t helping anyone else, and it certainly isn’t helping you.

So get a little more vulnerable, get a little more real, and let’s all be honest about motherhood.  That way we can all enjoy the ups and downs, the highs and lows, without worrying that we’re the only ones.  Without worrying that it shouldn’t feel like that.  Cause it should, and it does.

And that’s okay!