Positive Mind Works
The tradition of a sit down family dinner around a dining table is one which has fluctuated over recent years. The abundance of distraction, busyness and technology has for many families meant that traditional dinners have disintegrated into two or more sittings or even worse solo television dinners. Frequently, these days I hear of adults and children having separate dinners altogether. There is a logical rationale surrounding this, adults and kids often have very different food preferences, different meal times and let’s just say different energy levels at the dinner table. For many parents the option of sitting down to fish fingers at 5pm with your 5 and 7 year old playing fish finger battles is not always overly exciting idea. By skipping the family dinner are we in fact missing out on much more than we imagine?
Sitting down to a family dinner is in fact a ritual, not in a mystical dance-around-the-fire kind of way. But it is a ritual that becomes part of the make-up of your family culture. It provides the setting and the opportunity for sitting down and communicating with all your family members. During meal time we typically talk about the day that’s passed, our highs and lows, and perhaps even what we are hoping for from tomorrow. Throughout this conversation, we are able to gauge from verbal and non verbal cues the mood and wellbeing of each member as well as the family unit as a whole.
I recall in vivid detail the rules and expectations that surrounded our family dinner ritual. We always had dinner at the same time so that mum could watch the news after dinner -whilst my sister and I were on washing up duty. I expect that my dad was chief washer up in the time before we were big enough to reach the kitchen sink. We always had television and radio switched off. I am way too old for there to have been mobile phones around, so that wasn’t a problem! And over the years we were gradually taught what was expected at a dinner table. To sit on our chairs properly, to use a knife and fork, to show kindness and curiosity with our family members. To be open minded about food, or at least disciplined when we were asked to sit at the table until we had finished our vegetables!! I think back now about these regular moments and although they are not the fireworks memories that will fill photo albums, these memories seem to reflect who my family are, and who I am within my family.
In some fascinating research I read, a child’s vocabulary is extended further through conversation at dinner time than it is by having a parent read to their child. During dinner children learn language development, social rules such as ‘what is acceptable to talk about’ and what not, and they learn the family narrative. How the family sees itself and the wider community. So even if you can’t make family dinner happen every night, I know, logistics right, just maintaining family dinner time on weekends is also going to help your child to be a better communicator and more successful at school!
You may also like to read:
Time Management Goes Out the Window with Kids
How to Teach Your Kids a Healthy Lifestyle
