Kiddipedia
By Elizabeth Jane
Father’s Day can be about more than presents. It can be an opportunity to reconnect, ask questions, listen to old stories and strengthen the relationship you share with your dad.
Father’s Day is often about presents, lunches and family traditions, but it can also be an opportunity to think about the relationship we have with our fathers.
Whether you are incredibly close, have gradually drifted apart or are carrying unresolved hurt, sometimes the most meaningful gift is not something we buy, but the time, curiosity and attention we give each other.
Every Father’s Day, we spend millions of dollars searching for ways to show Dad we care.
We buy socks, tools, aftershave, books, gadgets, bottles of wine and restaurant lunches. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of these things.
But this year, I think there is another question worth asking:
How well do you actually know your dad?
Not simply as Dad, but as a person.
For many families, the answer may be more complicated than we realise.
Research into parent and adult-child estrangement in the United States found that 26 per cent of respondents experienced a period of estrangement from their father from age 15 onwards.
The encouraging part of that research is that estrangement was not necessarily permanent. Among those who experienced estrangement from their father, 69 per cent subsequently became “unestranged”.
Those figures remind us that family relationships can be complicated, but they can also change.
Father’s Day can be a lovely opportunity to strengthen the relationship you already have or, where it is appropriate and safe, perhaps begin rebuilding one that has become distant.
Here are seven ways to make this Father’s Day about more than presents.
1. Ask Dad About the Person He Was Before He Became Your Father
One of the strangest things about growing up is realising our parents had entire lives before we arrived.
Your dad was once a little boy.
He went to school. He had friends. He probably got into trouble. He was a teenager trying to work out who he was. He had dreams, fears, relationships, disappointments and ambitions.
Yet how much of that person do you actually know?
This Father’s Day, ask him.
- What was his childhood like?
- What did he want to be when he grew up?
- What was his first job?
- Who was his best friend?
- What was his own father like?
- What is he most proud of?
- What would he do differently if he could live his life again?
You might be surprised by the answers.
These conversations can also preserve precious pieces of family history. Once our parents and grandparents are gone, their stories can disappear with them.
There can also be enormous value in understanding the experiences that shaped our parents. It can help us recognise where our own behaviours, values and family patterns came from – including the positive ones we want to carry forward and those we may consciously choose to change.
2. Tell Him One Thing You Appreciate
Many families are not particularly good at saying how they feel.
This can be especially true between fathers and their adult children.
You do not need to turn Father’s Day lunch into an enormous emotional event. Simply tell your dad one thing you genuinely appreciate about him.
Perhaps he taught you to drive.
Maybe he worked long hours so you could have opportunities he never had.
Perhaps he always answered the phone when you needed help.
Maybe he taught you resilience, kindness, humour, persistence or the importance of keeping your word.
Sometimes we assume the people closest to us know these things.
They may not.
A simple “I really appreciate that you did that for me” can mean far more than we realise.
3. Put Your Phone Away
One of the most valuable gifts we can give another person is becoming increasingly rare: our undivided attention.
We can sit at a table with our families while simultaneously checking messages, emails, news and social media.
We are physically together but mentally somewhere else.
If you are spending time with Dad this Father’s Day, try putting your phone away.
Ask questions.
Listen to his answers.
Have a proper conversation.
If you have children, encourage them to do the same with their grandfather.
An hour of genuine connection may ultimately be far more memorable than anything wrapped in paper.
4. If You Have Drifted Apart, Start Small
Not every distant father-child relationship involves a dramatic falling out.
Sometimes life simply gets in the way.
Careers become demanding. People move interstate or overseas. Adult children have partners and children of their own. Parents develop their own routines.
A weekly phone call becomes monthly. Monthly becomes Christmas, birthdays and Father’s Day.
Eventually, two people who love each other can know surprisingly little about each other’s everyday lives.
If that sounds familiar, you do not need a grand gesture.
Make a phone call.
Suggest a coffee.
Go for a walk.
Invite Dad to watch the footy.
Start creating space for the relationship again.
Small, regular moments often build stronger relationships than occasional grand gestures.
5. If There Has Been a Falling Out, Don’t Expect to Solve Everything in One Day
Family estrangement is complicated, and there is no single solution that is right for every family.
Importantly, nobody should feel pressured to reconnect with someone where there has been abuse, violence, coercion or where contact would compromise their wellbeing or safety.
But where a relationship is safe, both people are receptive and the issue is something that could potentially be worked through, Father’s Day may provide an opening.
The first step does not have to be dramatic.
It might be a message saying, “I’ve been thinking about you.”
It might be a phone call.
It could be an invitation to meet for coffee.
You do not have to resolve years of hurt or disagreement over one Father’s Day lunch.
Rebuilding trust takes time. Sometimes the most important thing is simply creating an opportunity for a conversation to begin.
6. Accept That Dad Is Human Too
As children, our parents can seem larger than life.
Then we grow up and begin seeing them differently.
We recognise their imperfections. We question decisions they made. We may wish they communicated differently, showed more emotion or handled certain situations another way.
There may be legitimate hurt that needs to be acknowledged.
Acceptance does not mean pretending harmful behaviour did not happen or abandoning healthy boundaries.
But in otherwise safe relationships, there can be freedom in recognising that our parents are imperfect human beings, just as we are.
Sometimes we spend years wishing someone would become the person we think they should be rather than trying to understand the person standing in front of us.
Understanding does not require agreement.
It simply gives us another way of looking at the relationship.
7. Don’t Make Your Relationship a Once-a-Year Event
Perhaps the most important thing you can do this Father’s Day is decide what happens after Father’s Day.
Before you say goodbye, organise the next catch-up.
It could be:
- Breakfast once a month
- A regular phone call
- Watching a game together
- Walking the dog
- Fishing
- Taking the grandchildren somewhere together
It does not have to be elaborate.
Strong relationships are rarely built through one spectacular gesture. They are usually built through hundreds of ordinary moments repeated over many years.
The Gift We Can’t Buy
As we get older, we become increasingly aware of how quickly time moves.
We assume there will be another birthday, another Christmas and another Father’s Day.
Usually there is.
But eventually there isn’t.
That does not mean we should approach Father’s Day with sadness or guilt.
Quite the opposite.
It is a reminder to appreciate the people who matter while we have the opportunity.
So buy Dad the socks if he needs them. Take him out for lunch. Give him the bottle of wine.
But perhaps give him something else as well.
Ask him a question you have never asked before.
Listen to a story you have heard 20 times.
Tell him something you appreciate.
Take a photograph together.
Make another date before you leave.
And if you have simply drifted apart and there is a safe and worthwhile relationship waiting to be strengthened, consider making the first move.
Years from now, neither of you is likely to remember what you bought for Father’s Day 2026.
You may, however, remember the conversation you had.
And sometimes that is the most valuable gift of all.
About Elizabeth Jane
Elizabeth Jane is a best-selling author, sought-after keynote speaker, artist and respected thought leader whose work has inspired thousands of people to live with greater clarity, confidence and emotional freedom.
Her highly popular book, Free and First – Unlocking Your Ultimate Life, has helped many people across the globe to navigate and move forward from divorce and other life challenges to find joy and happiness.
Based in Sydney, she is a devoted mother to four adult children and a powerful advocate for wellbeing, resilience and authentic living.
A Commerce graduate who later completed a Diploma in Education, Elizabeth has built a multifaceted career as a mentor, spokeswoman and creative force. Her insights have shaped conversations across mental health, relationships and personal transformation, earning her a reputation as one of Australia’s most compelling voices in the self-development space.
Beyond her writing and speaking engagements, Elizabeth is a passionate practitioner of yoga and meditation and an accomplished painter. Her artwork and storytelling share a unifying mission: to empower people with practical tools to cultivate purpose, emotional strength, vibrant health and enduring joy.
Whether through her books, commentary and insights, her art or her presence on stage, Elizabeth continues to encourage audiences to live deeply, love fully and embrace the most authentic version of themselves.
Learn more about Elizabeth Jane:
elizabethjane.au
