Dr Tanya Unni
Motherhood is the zenith of bliss and at the very same time it can be the nadir of distress. New mothers, many often, find it hard to cope with the around the clock responsibility of a baby. Coupled with anxieties, known and unknown, motherhood may not always be rosy. New mothers may often be bogged down by apprehensions regarding their altered life, changed body figure, future of career, relationship with husband, social relationships, other peoples’ perception and what not. Sleeplessness, fatigue, attitude of family members, health condition of child etc can all affect the mother’s temper. Some women go through post-partum depression and it takes time to recover.
The ever-nagging question on every mother’s mind is “Am I doing it right?” The anxieties regarding children, their upbringing and their future is a constant companion for every mother. And this holds true for the mother of a newborn to the mother of a teenager to the mother of a middle-aged person.
So, when two mothers meet it can be a riot of questions, answers, gasps, nods and sighs of relief. For, only a mother can truly gauge the turbulence in the mind of another mother. And that sigh of relief that these mothers exchange is a great tension-buster and confidence-booster. To know that we are not alone in this struggle and our emotions and struggles are shared by mothers elsewhere is, for some reason, re-assuring.
This reinforces the significance of social relationships for a mother. Connecting to fellow mothers can be a heartening as well as a learning experience.
For the balanced growth of our child, we need to monitor his/her development regularly. This evaluation becomes sensible only when we keep aside our brimming affection for our offspring and do it impassionedly. For a comprehensive evaluation, it is important to observe other children and our child’s interaction with them. This helps us to understand how our child is doing and helps to mend ways. The give and take between mothers can help them to understand the developmental milestones and behavioral patterns of the child better.
Such maternal interactions also give us a cue as to whether our parental approach is correct or not. These discussions can enlighten us on different parental approaches and we can choose what is best for us. I would say, fellow mothers can help child-raising more than any accomplished expert.
But, one thing that you need to keep in mind is that such interactions should not end up dispiriting or hurtful to you. You should not end up being disappointed about your child or yourself. May such gatherings be a learning and assimilating experience rather than a comparison exercise or competition between mothers. Do remember that each of you is different and unique. So is the case with children.
Several studies have substantially proved that mothers who maintain good social network are positive parents than those who remain isolated. Parenthood, career and all the additional responsibilities can really weigh women down. The perfect getaway would be to open up your minds to buddies. This helps to relieve stress and put everything in perspective. It is wonderful to discover that after every such conversation; you will begin to see your life choices and decisions more clearly than ever.
Women with children often feel that their life is no longer in their control. Everything depends upon the child. This can be daunting. So, in such phases of life, it’s important to understand that social and emotional support can be of great help. Do not put off the opportunity for such interactions. When you talk, you take a journey to nowhere else but your soul. And a soulful, cheerful mother is always a sight to behold.
