The Wellness Poet
By Krissy Regan The Wellness Poet
Are you a perfect mother? Was your mother perfect? Do you strive to raise perfect kids in an imperfect world?
I’m far from a perfect mother. And since I’ve become a mother, I appreciate my own mother so much more. For her sacrifice, sleep deprivation and helping to fight my battles as a younger person. I think we all start to appreciate our mothers more when we become mums ourselves. I have an older friend who is yet to become a grandmother and we joke that her daughters will appreciate her more when they have their own kids.
Recently at a playground with another Mum I observed her teenager being rude and disrespectful and even ridiculing her in front of other mums. I felt for that woman, but I also confess I’ve done the; “Oh Mum!”, eye-rolling with my mum in public. My friends tell me of their teenagers hating them. I feel I would die on the inside if my girls told me they hate me. But I have to prepare myself for that possibility.
After I founded Mindful Mums Qld in October 2019, my then almost 2-year-old started her big public meltdowns. I felt like a candid camera was hiding and waiting for me to lose my patience and I would be found out for being a rubbish mother, and exploding in public because my child wanted to close the gate instead of me. Then spending 45 minutes in the car park while the screaming seemed to last a lifetime. I tried to console myself with the perspective that this was here for me to practise my mindfulness and breathing under intense heat and embarrassment.
So, I’ve embraced my imperfection and adopted humour. If you can’t laugh about the challenges of motherhood with other mothers, then you may spend a lot of money on therapy at some point. It’s not funny to hear your child say they hate you. It’s not funny to have your child try to humiliate you in front of your friends, and it’s certainly not funny to feel unappreciated and disrespected. But no mother should have to feel ashamed for these events, which are outside of our control. Like my toddler having a 45-minute meltdown in a car park that felt like 45 degrees. I wanted to melt into the earth and never endure that pain again.
For this reason, I’m a vocal advocate for sharing the real story, regardless of how shame-inducing. I don’t feel one tinge of judgement when someone tells me their real story because I don’t want judgement. I don’t want anyone to feel embarrassed because of their child’s attitude and behaviour because I know in that moment they need support.
Socks play a big role for the mood in our house most mornings and on the days my 4-year-old refuses to wear socks to school I make peace with it very quickly because it saves me a 45-minute battle to get the socks on comfortably….
Like all mums, I love my children more than anything but I don’t control them, so I’m left managing a large degree of uncertainty on any day (or moment). As the afternoon disappears and it’s time to collect my children from school, I always look forward to seeing them. The pain of the morning battle to get out of the house, and the terror of yesterday’s meltdown, has somehow been forgotten. I’m filled with joy at seeing them only to repeat the same afternoon cycle of hunger, tantrums and back chat. I marvel at a mother’s ability to forget the pain of childbirth in the same way that we forget the pain of school pickup, and we keep turning up.
This Mother’s Day I will run up a large hill at dawn, and I will use this time to forgive myself for my mistakes and to forgive my children for the sleeplessness, messiness, grumpiness, bossiness, helplessness, distress and socks.
Happy Mother’s Day and thank you for continuing to turn up regardless of the battles you have faced today.
Krissy xxx
Krissy Regan is The Wellness Poet and Founder of Mindful Mums Queensland. She is author of 4 new books;
- Broken to Unbreakable, 12 Steps to an Unbreakable Mind, Body & Spirit.
- The Koala who Lost his Heart.
- Bobby, a Horse who teaches a young girl how to Love.
- Go Get-em Mumma!
Krissy wrote these books and more than 50 poems, whilst working part-time at home, raising 2 small children and juggling the demands of her household. Krissy offers workshops, retreats and 1-1 coaching and launched her global online wellness school at the start of 2021. You can register right here and have access to 12 months of amazing wellness content for only $99.00 https://krissy-regans-wellness-movement-mindful-mums-3.teachable.com/
You can contact Krissy Regan at mindfulmumsqld@gmail.com or follow Mindful Mums Qld on Facebook and Instagram @mindfulmumsqld and view Krissy’s work here: https://www.thewellnesspoet.com/
