Yvette Salvaris

Yvette Salvaris

How can we teach our children about trust if we cant trust people ourselves? Children unlike adults are a blank slate, they learn from their environment. Sometimes the best educational experiences are life lessons. it is important to teach children about trust and  who they can trust. It’s also important for children to realise you can trust people, even if  others have hurt you in the past. Not everyone is the same. its up to us to teach this concept  to our children.

Life can take you in many different directions and it is from this  that we develop our life experiences. In some cases those experiences can be hard lessons to learn and as a result we get hurt and become untrusting of others. Our life experiences can influence  how we relate to others. The ways in which we communicate  and treat others around  us  can impact  and influence children. Children are little sponges, they pick up on the smallest thing, and it is these things that can have a huge impact on a child’s  life experiences.

I’m the first to admit I have trust issues. After years of dealing with work place drama, drama kings and queens and all that’s in between, you tend to build up a thick skin. However this thick skin can stop you seeing the good in people and because of this   it can be hard to realise that not everyone is the bad guy.

Last night I was chatting to a male friend of mine. We have been friends for 4 years. He is the same age as me, but from a different country. For some reason we found ourselves talking about the topic of respect and trust. Now this person told me he has never been to a strip show as he respects women and feels bad that they have to exploit themselves to make money.  Of course I laughed and refused to believe him. I just thought  he was just like the others, telling me what I wanted to hear  and lying to me so he  comes across as being trusting.

Over the course of the next hour he explained everything to me. How  he feels that it is  sad that women have to exploit themselves for other peoples enjoyment and how he would feel like he had let down his mum if he was to partake in anything of that nature. This person was being open and honest with me. Sitting in front of me was an actual good guy and it had taken me until this moment to realise that. This person was not like the others. It made me realise how my  past interactions and feelings can  influence my  current feelings about a person or a situation.

Now  Imagine if someone else was with me, my reaction to the comments my friend made would have influenced their opinion of them. If someone had seen me laugh at their comment and dismiss it as being one big lie, then they too would have felt the same. Imagine if a parent had reacted the same way to their child’s teacher, in front of their child. Of course the child will then have negative feeling towards their teacher because of what they have seen. We  all have biases , but its important to stay as neutral as possible so as to not to affect someone else’s judgement of a person or situation.

As adults its important that we role model healthy relationships with others. Children need to see that its ok to trust others and that   having trust is a very special thing. As adults we need to be more mindful of how we relate to  others and the way in which we  demonstrate this to  children. So next time you are chatting with friend or work colleagues, take a second to think about your interactions and how they could influence other people.

 

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