Kiddipedia
By Julie Borninkhof, Chief Executive Officer, Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia (PANDA)
Becoming a parent evokes all kinds of emotions and thoughts. Many people find that pregnancy or having a baby is more challenging than they anticipated and it’s common for new parents to experience a range of mixed emotions. Parenthood is a time of transformation and change. Becoming a parent can be a joyful, happy time but it can also be complicated, confusing and overwhelming.
Physical challenges
Physically, the demands of a newborn can be overwhelming. The exhaustion from the erratic sleep and feed schedules, coupled with the process of recovery from childbirth and potential pain from breastfeeding takes an intense physical toll on parents. The bodies of both mothers, fathers and partners undergo significant changes during this period. Hormonal changes affect both parents. Sleep deprivation, physical changes and stress can impact our thoughts, mood and wellbeing. Yet, amidst the exhaustion, there is an undeniable beauty in the emotional connections forming between many parents and their newborns.
Researchers have found that a parent’s brain will change in response to the arrival of a new baby. The emotional processing network enables parents to stay alert and build a strong bond with their baby, while the mentalising network helps in decoding the non-verbal signals that guide caregivers in meeting their infant’s needs.
Emotional challenges
Emotionally, the challenges extend beyond the immediate physical toll. Suddenly you’re left in a maze of changing relationship dynamics with your partner, your personal identity is shifting, and you’re juggling the expectations and advice from well-meaning family and friends. Doubts and fears, while normal, can sometimes lead to patterns of thinking that leave individuals feeling ‘stuck’.
It is not uncommon for women to experience the ‘baby blues’ in the first few days after birth, however, this is not considered a mental health concern requiring treatment. The baby blues symptoms of teariness, anxiety or irritability usually resolve in a few days with understanding, acknowledgment and support.
When anxiety or depression begins some time in the year following birth, it is referred to as postnatal anxiety or postnatal depression. One in five new mums and one in 10 new dads are affected by perinatal depression and anxiety, which impacts approximately 100,000 Australian families each year.
Anxiety and depression are not the only mental health and wellbeing challenges parents can experience, and the perinatal period can also be a time when past mental health concerns may resurface. It’s important to reach out early for support – even before parents plan to conceive – so they have a strong support network around them from the beginning.
Postnatal anxiety, depression and other mental health concerns can be a frightening and isolating experience as parents try to deal with their symptoms at the same time as needing to care for a new baby. There is support, treatment and services available to help new parents through this experience. If symptoms last for more than two weeks and affect everyday mood and functioning, it’s time to seek support.
How to seek help
It’s crucial for new parents to recognise the importance of seeking help. Unfortunately, many struggle with this, often feeling shame or guilt for not coping with the demands of a new baby. Breaking down these barriers and fostering a culture of open communication is paramount. Having a community of care, and trusted sources of independent information, such as a GP or a supportive friend, is invaluable.
PANDA also has information, resources and articles to help parents manage their own and their family’s mental health and wellbeing. Anyone having trouble coping with pregnancy or being a new parent, or wanting help with building their community of care, can visit panda.org.au or call the PANDA Helpline on 1300 726 306 Mon to Sat, 9am – 7.30pm AEST/AEDT.
PANDA has a mental health checklist that asks questions to help see if what parents are experiencing could be a reason to seek help. Experiencing these symptoms does not make someone a bad parent, but could indicate that they need some support with their mental wellbeing.
To navigate these challenges, setting realistic expectations and resisting the pressures of media representations of parenting are essential. Trusting the learning process and allowing time to adapt is vital. Seeking support within the community is equally important, with various services available, including playgroups, parenting programs, counselling, mental health services, and more. Parents and loved ones can find information about health services, support services and networks, and activities for new parents through the PANDA website or Helpline.
Parenthood comes with its share of myths, and it is crucial to debunk many of these unrealistic expectations. From the notion of immediate bonding to the belief that parenthood is purely intuitive, acknowledging the realities of parenthood is essential in caring for yourself and your bub.
Julie is the CEO of PANDA and a recognised leader in the primary health sector. Julie is a Clinical Psychologist who has worked across primary and tertiary settings, namely with people from vulnerable and diverse communities. She is passionate about ensuring that people’s lived experience informs the development of progressive services and supports. Julie loves leading the dedicated team at PANDA.
For further details, go to: https://panda.org.au/ and https://panda.org.au/
