Fussy Eater Solutions
Trish has a 10-year-old child, who is a fussy eater with a sweet tooth. “The other day I walked in the lounge and found P. behind the door, demolishing a pot of ‘chocolate spread’. I was so upset; I lost it then and there. I took the pot away, said I will never buy any anymore. After this, dinner was awful and I was still angry when my child went to bed”.
It can be very difficult to manage sweets and treats for families. Parents may have strong views on sugar, they may consider it detrimental to their child’s health, or they may offer desserts and sweets regularly. Everyone is entitled to his or her choice. I always ask families about their thoughts on sweets and whether they include them in their eating culture.
Are sweets part of your family’s eating culture? Regardless it is a good idea to assess how you view them, model their consumption and how you talk about them with your child.
In Trish’s case, it is problematic when her child hides to gulp down the pot of chocolate spread. Has this ever happened to you? Have you found yourself arguing with your child about their sweet tooth?
Let’s see if we can get to the bottom of this.
A good question to ask yourself is: am I managing sweets or am I controlling sweets?
- What is controlling in this case?
- Not trusting our children for self-restraint and hiding sweets from them.
- Categorising sweets as forbidden, when it suits us.
- Using sweets as rewards to get our children to eat other foods.
- Disparaging sweets by calling them junk or unhealthy.
As adults, we understand that for many of us eating sweets is riddled with guilt and self-conflict. I would argue that controlling is not a good option, because of the perception and desire it creates. “Eat your veggies if you would like some dessert”, has been shown to enhance preference for the reward[1], whilst forbidding foods has been shown to increase fixation on them[2].
In our feeding relationships, we have an opportunity to manage sweets with a long-term view to producing the best outcome for our children.
- What is managing sweets?
- Having a clear routine with meals and snacks and no grazing in between so children know what to expect.
- Being specific when sweets are going to be served, so children know that they will get them and when they won’t:
- e.g. we have desserts on Friday, chocolate spread is allowed for afternoon snacks on Tuesday before swimming and on Friday after school (make it your own).
- Showing children they are trusted to respect the rules by not hiding sweets.
- Being neutral about food value or perceived virtues/defects. It’s a dessert, it’s a snack, and it is to be enjoyed just like any other food whilst it is eaten.
Trish’s husband commented on sweets not being forbidden as he was growing up. He remembers not having much interest in them, probably because they were not a big deal at all, however for Trish sweets were always used as a reward. That was their light bulb moment when both realised that from now on they needed to manage sweets rather than control them.
How you view sweets, consume them, or manage them with your children will shape your child’s consumption of them. Will you have a light bulb moment on sweets?
[1] JOURNAL ARTICLE
The Influence of Social-Affective Context on the Formation of Children’s Food Preferences
Leann Lipps Birch, Sheryl Itkin Zimmerman and Honey Hind
Child Development
Vol. 51, No. 3 (Sep., 1980), pp. 856-861
[2] A Review of Family and Social Determinants of Children’s Eating Patterns and Diet Quality. Heather Patrick , PhD & Theresa A. Nicklas , DrPHPages 83-92 | Received 16 Feb 2004, Accepted 23 Nov 2004, Published online: 24 Jun 201
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