Learning to Take More, Makes Giving Less Draining on Mum

Women do an amazing job of juggling family, work, relationships and all the obligations that accompany these roles. The current climate is putting more pressure on women with the increased requirement to support their children’s education, increased cleaning requirements and educating their children about how they now need to behave in public.

Most of us are taught growing up that our role is to put the needs of others before ourselves. However, during stressful times, it is more important than ever to place a high importance on the health and well-being of these amazing women.

Whilst juggling these different roles women often forget to take care of themselves. They become consumed with the needs of others which leaves little time for their own needs.

Information from Beyond Blue states that women experience some mental health conditions at higher rates than men, sighting both major life changes and negative experiences as contributors:

• 1 in 6 Women suffer depression *
• 1 in 3 women experience anxiety *
• Women suffer higher rates of PTSD and Eating disorders than men *
(* Information gathered from Beyond Blue)

Over time this leads to a deep sense of dissatisfaction with life and resentment to those who mean the most to us. These can lead onto feelings that can destroy our relationships.

I have spent the last 10 years studying human behaviour and why we do what we do. Most of our behaviours are learned early in life as we are influenced by the adults that nurtured us. Once we understand this, we can then start to change our underlying beliefs and in turn our behaviours.

“Taking care of yourself is not selfish”

So, who is taking care of you?

As we begin to move out of lock down most of us are feeling tired, some because we haven’t had enough rest over the last few months, but some because we are simply tired due to the stress that we have been surrounded by.

Now is the time to step back and look at what we have been doing day to day and what we have given up ensuring that those we care about most are fully supported. We now need to focus on ourselves and ensure that we are taken care of.

Be kind to yourself, take time everyday to do something that nourishes you, even if it is just for five minutes.

The best person to take care of us is ourselves, when we start to really listen to ourselves and our bodies, we intuitively know what we need.

So, it may be more rest, it may be getting out in the fresh air or something completely different.

What is certain is if we don’t take care of ourselves we won’t be able to take care of others (remember the analogy about the oxygen mask when you fly – you can’t look after your child if you have passed out due to a lack of oxygen.

So how can you take care of yourself?

One of the ways is to practise gratitude, be grateful for the day and what you have. When you do this with intent, we realise how much we truly have in this world. Living with a sense of gratitude creates a positive mindset.

Another way is to practise mindfulness, which is to focus on the present and let go of the past and not worry about the future. This is hard in a fast-paced lifestyle. One of the easiest ways is to plan your day, setting reminders in your phone of when you need to do something, then you can focus on what you are doing as you know you have a schedule for your day.

Talk to your partner and explain that you understand how tired he is after work etc. but be honest about how you are feeling as well right now and set up a time where he can take over the house so you can get out on your own for a short while.

If you feel you need extra support reach out and ask for it. True empowerment comes from feeling supported and nurtured.

Women need to be supported, educated, and empowered to take time for themselves to rejuvenate and de-stress and do the things in life they are passionate about to support a positive mental health outcome.

Deb Harman

I am a certified Life Coach, Master NLP Practitioner, Hypnotherapist and Certified Relationship Workshop Facilitator.

I am also a partner a mother of 5 and a grandmother of 6.

Over the last ten years I have studied human behaviour and why we do what we do.

I work with women to empower them to live their life in accordance with who they truly are, to live life on their terms and love what they do every day.

Contact deb@ultimatelifeshift.com

Of join our empowered women group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/ultimatelifeshiftgroup/

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