Divorce Answered

Divorce Answered


Dearest Daughter,

In 2020, the 109th year of recognising the achievements of women on International Women’s Day, I wanted to share with you some life lessons that you can take with you for the rest of your life.

As a daughter of divorce, I hope that I have done my best to instil a strong sense of self-confidence in you. You are worthy of respect. Don’t allow anyone to treat you poorly or make you feel like you are less than they are. Walking away from a relationship that isn’t uplifting, encouraging or healthy, isn’t a sign of failure. In fact, it is a sign of bravery, strength and shows everyone that you have the self-love to set yourself free of what isn’t working. Relationships are two individuals co-existing in harmony or in a complimentary manner, not two individuals living co-dependently or un-equally. Any relationship inequalities, injustices or concerns should be addressed, the hurts healed and the life lessons noted, learned and not repeated.

I raised you to be a strong, resilient, caring and vulnerable person. These qualities will work well for you with your friends, in your partnerships and in your professional life. Being a strong and capable person, doesn’t mean that you have to do everything for everyone. Learn to lean on others when you need help and allow your friends to help you.  You can help to make them feel good about themselves too when you create the space for them to help you in a time of need. Friends, family and partners are not to take advantage of you. You aren’t weaker just because you have asked for help.

There is no such thing as a man’s job or a woman’s job, neither are there women’s duties or men’s duties. Your future partners and friends are not incapable of cooking, cleaning, washing and earning their own money. All people are equal and your time is worth just as much as the next person’s – value your own time. Time is a resource that you can’t get back so be wise with where you put your energy and spend your time.

Growing up with divorced parents, I hope that you saw that the end of a relationship doesn’t have to spell disaster or mean the end of your happiness. A lot of good can come from leaving a toxic situation. Moving away from negativity, raises your vibration and will bring new, supportive and uplifting people into your life. Some friends won’t be able to support you after your relationship break-down which will hurt. Try not to take it personally. They clearly have their own issues and insecurities to deal with and don’t have the capacity to help you. The friends that move away from you will make space for new friends that will be even better for you.

You are truly unique and special – no one will ever be able to replace you or be you. I want you to be you, not a replica of someone else. You don’t have to change who you are to suit a new group of people or a man. No one can tell you what to do or what not to do – you are your own person and you are capable of making decisions for yourself. You will make me the proudest Mumma if you are the best version of you – try your hardest – you can achieve anything that you put your mind to.

You don’t need to be in a relationship with another person. Being in a partnership isn’t any measure of success. You are and can be successful on your own. No one and nothing will complete you, except for you. So long as you feel whole, fulfilled and you genuinely like the person that you are, the opinion of others shouldn’t be able to derail you from achieving your hopes and goals.

While I may not always agree with your decisions in your adulthood – please be rest assured that I am so proud of you and your brother. I will always be there for you to help, guide and support you.

All my love, always and forever,

Mummy. xx

#EACHFOREQUAL #EachForEqual #IWD #internationalwomensday #IWD2020


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