Kiddipedia
Author:
Daniele, Registered Psychologist and Founder of Superpower Kids, delivering social-emotional learning resources to thousands of children in Australia and globally.
The most effective way to help children manage disappointment is by building their resilience.
Building resilience in children is something that should never be taken lightly when it comes to childhood development. Though childhood is often seen as a carefree time, this does not mean that children are shielded against emotional hurt, challenges, and trauma. Academic hardships, bullying, personal struggles at home, and generally living in a complex world can all weigh on them and ultimately impede their development.
But the thing is that you, as the parent, do not have to sit back or label yourself as the sole protector every time something negative comes their way. Instead, raising resilient children can give your child(ren) the best tools and cognitive foundation to thrive regardless of the challenges they face in childhood and beyond.
What Is Resilience?
By definition, resilience is the ability to “bounce back” from adverse life events or stressful challenges. Developing resilience in children cultivates their minds to be braver, more adaptable, curious, and effective in dealing with adversity. They will unearth what is called an “internal locus of control”, which is self-reliance and the understanding that they are capable of affecting outcomes in their life. In short, they will see themselves as capable of determining their own fate.
According to the Harvard Graduate School of Education, resilience is taught and built throughout life. It is not innate or a resource that can be used up over time.
Childhood Mind Is an Open Gateway – Leverage It
Anyone can learn how to be resilient, but building resilience in children is the most effective way to make it stick because children are content sponges. According to Columbia University, children are learning machines. They absorb experiences faster than adults because their brains’ prefrontal cortex (where memory is stored) is not fully developed like adult brains.
Adults have what is called “functional fixedness,”
whereas children are more creative and inventive. Their minds are designed to learn and discover, which is another reason they can grasp new languages faster than adults.
How to Help Your Child Manage Disappointment
If you acknowledge the powerful benefits of resilience and want to help your child build their capacity, that’s fantastic! They will surely appreciate it now and well into adulthood. Here are some promising strategies:
1. Allow Them to Express and Release Their Emotions:
Holding in stress harms their mental and physical health. Give your child the freedom to express emotions and feel safe sharing them. Then offer suggestions and optimistic perspectives to address their underlying issues.
2. Talk to Them About Change:
Let your child know that life is always evolving. Though change can feel hard, they are strong and adaptable. Reinforce that change does not equal giving up on goals, but means creating different paths to reach them.
3. Let Them Make Mistakes:
It can be hard as a parent to watch mistakes, but let children try, fail, and problem-solve independently. If they ask for help, show them alternative ways to succeed without labeling it as failure.
4. Encourage a Positive Attitude:
Remind your child to be a good friend, sibling, and person, showing respect to others. Help them develop an optimistic mindset to overpower negativity and approach obstacles productively.
My work has appeared on:
https://mindfulparenting.com.au/contributors/daniele-clarke/
https://thenaturalparentmagazine.com/teaching-values-based-life-skills-emotional-health-for-kids/
https://thenaturalparentmagazine.com/reframing-failure-can-help-us-grow/?v=d76c77a873e2
You can check out the Superpower Kids blog here:
https://www.superpowerkids.net
Please let me know what you think of this idea or need more information.
Thank you
Daniele Clarke
