Elaine Davies
Happy Mother’s Day to all Mums and especially those who may feel you need to keep your children that little bit closer and more protected, from areas of society that are still unaccepting of our LGBTQ+ offspring.
As all of us Mums know, the love our children feel for us is never affected by their gender – a child’s love is pure and 100% nonbinary. If we could talk to that pure love, I’m sure it would be totally baffled by so much of what we do and think. This pure energy would certainly be confused about the importance we put on gender.
If your young child is questioning their gender or sexuality, can I suggest that Mother’s Day is not the day to worry about it? Or to go into an all-out battle around what they are going to wear, out there in the world. Instead, shift the focus to YOU the mother and allow everyone to worship you! Whether you gave birth to your child or not, rejoice in your feminine power – “I am woman, hear me roar” and let your little cubs see what an amazing human you are.
The wonderful thing about Mother’s Day is that it’s up to you, the Mum, on how you celebrate. You can choose to meet up with other families, or your own extended family, to enjoy a very public lunch, picnic or even a weekend away – the party can be boisterous and fun. Alternatively, you can keep it intimate, simple and private, only sharing your special day with those who live under your roof, as you hide away in the haven that is your home.
If your child is older and possibly battling inner demons around their gender and sexuality, often known as gender dysphoria, it may be a good idea to hide from the rest of the world. Gender dysphoria can be crippling and make our children feel paralysed about what they should wear in public (let alone which public toilets to use).
From my own experience, don’t take it personally if your child doesn’t want to join you in public, under the “perfect child” spotlight of Mother’s Day. Instead, why not take the pressure off everyone and enjoy a warm, inclusive and most importantly, loving family time at home?
Celebrate you as a mother and let your child celebrate you too!
Interestingly, International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, Biphobia falls just 3-days after Mother’s Day, on May 17th. Another celebration maybe?
While transgender children are increasingly enjoying support from most corners of life, we still need to strive for less scrutiny and more normalcy. There are still long-standing myths that need to be dismantled like “this is just a trend” or “they just want more attention” both of which are not only demeaning but also quite crazy!
No child chooses to spectacularly complicate their lives by changing their gender.
So, let’s give all children space to be themselves, ask the right questions and please, please, let’s get their pronouns right. It’s so little to ask, so easy to do and means so much to our little ones.
