It’s becoming increasingly important in my life to recognise and acknowledge that as I go through different stages of my life that I need to surround myself with different Sage’s, who can support me as a mum, a woman and an individual.
Modern life means many women will leave home in their late teens, go away to study, work in a city far from home, travel, marry, and have children often without immediate family or long-term friends close by. What I’ve noticed in my travels is that when we are younger, with fewer responsibilities, we can jump on a plane anytime we want, and make our way home to see family whenever the desire to re-connect hits us. However, as we age, we have more responsibilities, children, in-laws, aging parents, jobs and commitments for our kids, the ability to grab our backpack and head home is drastically diminished. This has probably never been felt more acutely than in the past 12 months since Covid-19 arrived in our life.
What I have also come to realise is that in the short-term we may not notice a difference as we have learned independence and to be self-sufficient, and women have become increasingly more and more independent in the past few decades. But what I’m also seeing for women who have made a life for themselves elsewhere, is that unless they have developed strong support systems, found some Sage’s that can help guide them and invest in personal development, they start to feel very alone, unsupported and their health suffers.
In the same way that it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a village to nourish and sustain a healthy adult. In my early forties, far from home with 2 young children I realised that I did not have a village for my kids, or, for myself. I was very short on Sage’s, and at a very different stage of my life. This realisation came quite dramatically after my second child was born and I felt it more acutely. When I only had one child, I felt I could get on a plane and go home (36hrs) whenever I needed or wanted to. With two, it was a whole different ball game.
A Sage is; a profoundly wise person; a person famed for wisdom. Someone venerated for the possession of wisdom, judgment, and experience.
You could argue that there are a lot of wise people, however your Sage will be different to my Sage because my experience is different to yours, and unless a Sage is invested in what’s best for you, what you need, and your personal circumstances then their wisdom may not be relevant to you.
I had wonderful people on my payroll to help clean my house, care for my kids and to treat my chronically aching body, BUT I started to wonder who was really interested in ME? Who was there to support me, to help nourish me, to pick up the pieces on my hard days, and to tell me that no matter what happened someone would be there to help me! I could not put my hand on my heart and answer that question, far from home, far from my village. So, after I made the decision that I wanted to have a village again for myself, and for my children, I made a huge decision to pack up my life and move from London to Townsville.
Townsville is a regional city in North Queensland and whilst I was born here, I’d never lived here as an adult. When I told my husband, we were moving to Townsville…. well, I can’t tell you the words he used but he said, NO! I told him, that I was holding the baby and I’d spent 16 years living on his side of the world – it was time to go home to my village. The conversation ended there, and I did all the paperwork to get a foreign husband, 2 babies and a shipping container home to Australia. It was a lot of work!
Why is this important? In recent months I’ve been working with a lot of women, and some men who have found themselves all alone with no village, no understanding of how a support system can help nourish them, and suffering with poor health (physically, emotionally and mentally). I reconciled their experience with my own. So, I help them to gather a team of Sage’s in their life, and I help them to recognise that when they better nourish themselves, they can be there to nourish others for longer. I help them realise that at different stages and ages we change, and we can stagnate, or we can grow, and that through personal development we can regain a sense of self, sense of connection and sense of well-being.
I love to see the look of people’s faces when they realise that by truly nourishing themselves, they can better nourish others, and investing in support from the right Sage is going to help guide them to health and back to themselves. Time and time again I hear adults (especially Mum’s), tell me that they have “lost themselves”. Believe me it’s a hard journey to get back to yourself but definitely one worth undertaking for longevity, joy and personal fulfilment. I’m so grateful that I can use my experience to help others find their village, nourish themselves and rediscover their passion.
You may not need to cross continents to find your village but in noticing if you feel alone, unsupported or unfilled, you can start to understand if you have the right support, and that is the first stage of your journey.
Krissy Regan is The Wellness Poet and Founder of Mindful Mums Queensland. She is author of 2 new books; Broken to Unbreakable, 12 Steps to an Unbreakable Mind, Body & Spirit and The Koala who Lost his Heart. Krissy wrote both books whilst working part-time at home, raising 2 small children and juggling the demands of her household.
Krissy offer’s workshops, retreats and 1-1 coaching and launched her global online wellness school at the start of 2021. You can register right here; https://krissy-regans-wellness-movement-mindful-mums-3.teachable.com/
You can contact Krissy Regan at firstname.lastname@example.org or follow Mindful Mums Qld on Facebook and Instagram @mindfulmumsqld and view Krissy’s work here: https://www.thewellnesspoet.com/