Kiddipedia
Having a C-section or Caesarean Section Birth truly was never on my radar. Sure I was present at birth class when it was discussed but honestly I tuned out, I thought that I was going to be great at giving birth…just like my mum.
My Name is Kate Seselja and I come from a large family in Sydney, I have 1 older brother and 5 younger sisters, my mum had 7 ‘natural’ births, her longest labour being 8 hours and her fastest in 3hrs.
I had no reason at all to suspect that I would not follow suit. I only had a little bump, so I knew I didn’t have a big baby on board, so when I FINALLY went into labour after being 10 days past my due date, I definitely had mentally prepared for it to be a long and hard challenge, but that the challenge would stop once the baby arrived.
I remember the labour getting to an intensity by 8pm, it just didn’t seem to progress further, I had no frame of reference at that stage to know if that was ‘normal.’ I queried it with the midwife and she just said I had a long way to go. So on I went, all night long, waiting for a progression that never came. By morning the decision to burst my waters was made and from then things just went in fast forward, the doctors came in and said that my baby was stuck in face presentation and they recommended an immediate C-section. I just said yes, I just wanted my baby to be as safe as possible and I was given an epidural and wheeled into surgery.
My Ethan was born at 10 to 10 on the 10th of the 10th 2000. The Caesar was complicated by him being wedged, it took well over an hour, he was in bad shape, his Apgar was 0, after a few minutes it was 2 and then he came good. They bought him over to me as I lay on the table, his face was swollen and bruised and he had a little cut above his eye from the tool used to burst my waters. I cried and cried, mostly tears of joy but tinges of sadness as that was not at all the way I had pictured that moment.
I remember getting wheeled back to my room after spending 2-3 hours in recovery and seeing my mum sitting there holding my little boy. I was still numb from the waist down and I quickly realised I was going to need help to take care of him. My Mum asked if she could stay on the fold out chair in my room and help me overnight.
The next day the nurses helped me to get up and use the toilet and have a shower, my incision had been stapled closed and covered with a rubbery thick waterproof bandage. The warm water felt soothing on my body, I couldn’t believe I had to get over a surgery and now look after a new born too, how am I going to be able to do this, I wondered.
My mum stayed every night in the hospital, she would pass me the baby and I would feed him with a pillow across my lap as a protection for the wound and then she would help resettle him. On day 5, the nurse came in to take my staples out so I could go home. I lay on the bed, closed my eyes and clenched my fists as she peeled back the rubber like bandage, it gripped my hairs and hurt way more than the actual staples being removed. I thought to myself, oh I wish I had waxed!
The Doctor popped in to wish me luck and make sure I had passed wind and had my bowels open, when all your insides get moved around during the C-section, they have to make sure that everything is working as it should before you leave. Then the last visitor before discharge, was the physio. She helped me to understand the physical impacts of the surgery and showed me the exercises to repair the muscle separation and how to lift and carry things moving forward. Restoring strength to your core and strengthening your back is vital.
She said not to carry anything heavier than the baby, this was tricky since my husband literally had 1 day off before he went back to work. It is recommended that you don’t drive for 6 weeks after a Caesarean, this is a good time to exercise your skills of community and asking for help as we all need to be there for one another in times of need. I asked a friend to take me to a follow up doctor’s appointment and she was happy to help. It is something I now offer to most new mums I know to help them conquer their first mission out of the house with a new born.
As my wound healed I did two things, when I came out from the shower I dried my scar with a hair dryer, a towel could rub and reinjure the wound. After cleaning and drying the wound, I would use Strataderm or Solosite cream for to promote scar repair.
I also ditched the tiny panties for a while in favour of full briefs for two reasons, the last thing you want is your undies cutting in over your wound site while it is tender and it also allows you to place a soft clean pad or sterile gauze sideways to provide a level of padding and support in that area while it feels vulnerable.
While the surgery blindsided me the first time around, I was hopeful for a VBAC (vaginal birth after Caesarean) when I went into labour with my second. Then the same thing happened and the progression halted. I felt anger towards my body, that it was unable to do something so basic, but then I was suddenly filled with a true sense of gratitude. I was fine and so was my child. In the 1500s caesareans were only performed on dead or dying mothers, in a last ditch effort, to salvage the baby’s life from the dying mother. I was grateful for how far Medical Science had progressed to the point that both our lives were perfectly preserved.
The biggest thing that I had to wrap my head around at that point, was that my deep desire to have a large family, now seemed to be something that was no longer possible. Some doctors said only have 2 or 3. This decision is obviously is up to the individual’s involved and every circumstance is different, but I have gone on to have 6 emergency C-section births as a result of my cervix failing to dilate.
Each time we planned our next child I felt heaviness come over me, but then a very clear decision would emerge. The deep desire I held, to have another child, far and away outweighed the certain pain, discomfort and recovery, that I knew I had waiting for me at the end of that decision.
Then as each child was born, I focused on the joy of each precious life, instead of the pain I felt, knowing I would heal. I have had multiple surgeons over the years each with different techniques, I have been stapled, glued and stitched, I think recovery wise it was less traumatic to have glue and dissolvable stitches over having to have staples removed, but really it was a very similar experience that just got mentally easier because I knew both what to expect and the hacks to overcome the challenges.
One of the mail things that I try to help mums to be to understand is that they may have a ‘Birth plan’ but don’t hold it too tightly, as the experience of giving birth is as unique as your finger print, mental flexibility is key, if you have your heart set on a specific experience it can just make everything that much harder.
Kate Seselja is a passionate wife and mum of 6, who loves celebrating all of our humanness. Kate is an international speaker on Resilience and Sustainable Wellbeing. Kate is a Addiction Recovery Coach with IGNTD, founder of The Hope Project, as well as a National Advocate for Gambling Reform.
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Email kate@thehopeprojectnow.com
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