Top Tips on Surviving Those Sleep-deprived Days

New Australian research has revealed that 77% of new parents feel judged by others based on their baby’s ability to sleep through the night. Of parents who reported feeling judged, one in two (48%) admitted to telling white lies about their child achieving milestones earlier than they actually are – with Dads much more likely to stretch the truth than Mums (50% vs 32 %).

The findings also highlighted that those who attended a parents group felt the pressures more than those who didn’t, with 85% admitting to lying about their baby’s ability to sleep. The obsession doesn’t end there either, with the research also revealing that many parents (25%) will spend up to two hours each day – be that Googling, speaking to friends or reading baby books, trying to find ways to get their baby to sleep ‘better’. The research, commissioned by Cubo Ai, the world’s smartest baby monitor, aimed to shine a light on the struggles new parents face when it comes to matters of sleep with a young baby (or lack thereof).

Baby sleep expert and Cubo Ai sleep ambassador, Kristy Griffiths, says she’s not surprised by the research, given the amount of pressure new parents put on themselves when it comes to getting their baby to sleep; “Any new parent will tell you that getting a newborn to sleep and keeping them asleep is almost a full-time job. If you’re not rocking, shooshing, holding, patting or swaying your little one to sleep, you’re thinking about it.”

“Sleeping through the night is the gold star for new parents, and there is a sense that if your baby is not sleeping through the night like other babies, you must somehow be failing as a parent,” says Kristy. “It’s so important for new parents to realise that there is a huge margin of ‘normal’ regarding infant sleep patterns in the first 6 to 12 months of life, and while we’re all desperate to get back to having a full eight hours of sleep each night, there’s no quick fix, or one size fits all solution.”

“Like adults, there is a huge variance in each baby’s sleep needs and behaviours. So even though you might be doing everything “by the book,” it is perfectly normal for babies to wake up at night, either for a feed or because they need a little help falling into the next sleep cycle,” she says.

In terms of what’s “normal,” the Cubo Ai research also revealed that the average parent is spending up to 3 hours each night trying to get their baby to sleep in the first six months of its life. “What this suggests is, no matter what your friends are telling you, most people are tending to wakeful babies overnight, especially in those early few months of life.”

Kristy assures parents there’s no reason to feel alone. Here she shares her top tips for setting up your little one for a good night’s sleep, alongside a gentle reminder that every baby is different, and what’s “normal” for one will be entirely different to what’s normal for another.

Here are Kristy’s top tips on surviving those sleep-deprived days:

Good sleep habits breed better sleep

It might seem counterintuitive, but more sleep in the daytime usually means a better overnight sleep. This is because overtiredness is truly the killer of a peaceful night’s slumber. So, one of the key things I get my parents to focus on is bub’s awake windows. Which, for a newborn, is only around 45-60 mins at a time, depending on their age. After this point, they become overtired, which often means a fussy, cranky and difficult-to-settle baby in the evening who only does short naps.

Sleep makes parents anxious too

It’s normal and completely natural to be overwhelmed with love for your new bundle of joy. The journey to parenthood is full-on and exhausting but when it comes to nap time, the last thing you want to do is take your eyes off them. However, it is super important you get a break when you can. I always recommend investing in a quality monitor like the Cubo Ai Plus. Its best-in-class safety features like rollover detection and face-covering can help ease anxieties in the first sleep-deprived weeks and beyond, giving tired parents some much-needed peace of mind whilst in the throes of newborn sleep deprivation.

Newborns will not live by your routine, and that’s ok!

Do not let the unpredictability of your baby’s sleep reflect on you and your mental health. I see so many successful and accomplished women who have lived by the clock via demanding corporate roles only to have their life turned upside down by a tiny little person who is blissfully unaware of the time of their supposed schedule. The first days are hard for everyone, and putting pressure on yourself to adhere to a strict routine will just end in tears (usually for mum and bub). Babies don’t have the capacity for routines until around 12 weeks, and even then, it will be pretty “loose” so the sooner you accept this, the less stressful the unpredictability of your baby will become.

Look to link sleep cycles.

Newborns sleep a lot – usually around 14-17 hours in 24 hours. One of the best ways you can teach your baby to sleep better is to assist in linking those sleep cycles together, helping to create longer stretches of shut-eye. For example, suppose your baby is experiencing catnaps or naps around 45 mins. In that case, you can help them link those cycles by simply leaving them to self-settle for a short amount of time. Additionally, look at sleep aids. My little ones loved the “morning rainforest” white noise soundscape on the CuboAi Plus, and this helped them to get back off to sleep and link those elusive cycles.

Embrace the chaos – it’s just a phase.

Despite what friends and family may tell you about their baby’s superior sleep habits, our research has revealed that, broadly, we’re in the same boat, which hopefully is a comfort to struggling mums and dads. So, as a mum of three formerly bad sleepers, I’m here to tell you that baby’s sleep DOES get better!

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

It genuinely takes a village, so PLEASE ask for, and accept all you can! Things like homemade food deliveries, help with washing or even just a short break where the baby gets out of the house to give you a chance to rest and refresh can help to ease the evening chaos and help you navigate the nights with less stress.

Supporting stats:

More than three-quarters of parents feel they’re judged by their baby’s ability to sleep (77%)
Perhaps perceived judgment is making parents report their child is achieving milestones earlier than expected, with almost half of new parents saying their children are meeting milestones like sleeping through quicker than they are (41%) – this was skewed to Dad’s who report this behaviour (50% vs. 33%)
In the first six months, half of Australian parents of infants spend more than an hour in daytime hours getting their baby to sleep (53%)
One in four spends more than two hours (25%)
In the first six months, 60 per cent of parents lose the equivalent of 7.5 full days just to night waking
An unlucky 36 per cent lose more than 15 full days of sleep to night waking, showing the colossal sleep debt being racked up by Aussie parents
Further, 22 per cent of new mums are intensely bleary-eyed, reporting losing 3+ hours per night to night wakings – equating to more than 22 days of sleep is being lost in the first six months of baby’s life, just on after dark settling
Sleep safety is the second most important issue to parents after giving birth and sleep safety (49%)
In the first year of their baby’s life, over half of new parents report spending more than half an hour per day thinking about how they can improve their baby’s sleep (53%). One-quarter spend more than an hour (25%).

About Cubo Ai

Cubo Ai, a FamTech company, aims to protect every baby in this world. The Cubo Ai team comprises parents, A.I. experts, and engineers, each dedicated to safeguarding baby’s sleep, safety, and memories via empathetic innovations. Its hero product, Cubo Ai is a beautifully designed, award-winning baby monitor that uses A.I. technology to proactively warn parents of dangerous situations in real-time. Developed by tech parents and a pediatrician, Cubo Ai uses proprietary A.I. technology to detect events such as a covered face, crying, rolling over, and little ones crawling/walking into danger zones so that parents can step in when their babies need them the most. In addition, the intelligent A.I. also auto-captures baby’s cutest moments, so you and your loved ones will never miss a milestone or precious first moment again. Furthermore, its family sharing feature allows those closest to you, to see your little ones grow.

For more information about Cubo Ai, visit www.getcubo.com.

About the research

Cubo Ai commissioned Antenna Insights to conduct an online consumer survey in January 2022. The sample comprised of a nationally representative sample of 1,022 Australian parents. Following interviews, the data was weighted by age, gender and region to reflect the latest ABS population estimates.

About Kristy

Kristy Griffiths is The Sleep Teacher, Cubo Ai Ambassador, certified sleep trainer to the stars and a mum of 3 gorgeous girls. With personal experience with debilitating postpartum sleep deprivation, Kristy’s expertise covers all areas of sleep teaching, emphasising gentle child and infant sleep training. As a mum who has been there, Kristy is passionate about showing parents how easily their sleep can be fixed.