Being a SAHM (Stay at Home Mum) mum is great but has its downside, and that is loneliness and the feeling of isolation.
Before kids, I was always around people. I worked, socialised, got invited out and due to being no one’s mum at the time could accept all invitations if I wanted to.
However now due to having three kids and being a SAHM it is harder or impossible to go out.
I’m not seen as the independent woman I once was, I’m now someone’s mum.
One thing that I do miss is adult conversations. As a SAHM my conversations are with my three-year-old and eleven-year-old twins. I do enjoy my chats with the kids but the three-year-old seems to use the word “Banana” for everything and my twins are mental about Minecraft, so the topics are limited.
Not only is it the day in day out drudgery of doing the same tasks and feeling that you never ever make it out of the kitchen or the laundry. I fear that I am cleaning the same space multiple times and never get to any of the other parts of the house.
And you would think that this space would be super tidy but no it never happens either.
I am constantly tired, on call 24/7 and have no pay, sick days or help! Oh, and not to mention workmates to chat to about the horrible conditions of this job.
Dealing with a toddler that you can never reason with and other kids who are pretending they are teenagers zaps your energy and makes you sometimes question if you are being a good mother at all?
I’ve served breakfast for dinner many times as I was too tired to cook. Insert bad mummy emjoi here.
What can you do if you’re feeling depressed and isolated due to being a SAHM?
- Talk to other mums at school/daycare.
- Call other mum friends and arrange a coffee catch up/movie day.
- Parent Groups: Raising Children have a great list of resources for parents.
- Start going to a playgroup in your area – you will meet other mums & dads while there.
- Tell others how you are feeling – good friends & family will understand, and help you get through this period.
- Start a hobby/interest – Having some much needed “me time” can be helpful. You will meet more people and do something for you for a change.
- Get some exercise – just walking around the block on your own can be a massive help. It allows you to be on your own, hear your own thoughts and get some fresh air too (Exercise can help lift your mood if you are feeling down).
Not all jobs are perfect and while I have some bad days, overall my kids and family are great. I am blessed to have three healthy kids and a supportive husband.
I just wish that I could leave the house without having to organise everything in military precision to ensure mummy can go somewhere first. It would be nice if someone else can sort this for me in the future.
Do you crave adult interaction? Find that you are lonely due to doing the same things repeatedly?
Let us know what you do to break the loneliness of being a SAHM.
If you need some more help Beyond Blue has information for new and expectant parents that can help you spot signs of depression and anxiety.
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