Teaching Toddlers Tricky Topics

Teaching toddlers ‘tricky topics’ can be easy if you have the right tools in your toolkit. And the right tool is often a children’s book! Kids are visual learners, so story books are ideal to broach tricky topics, and help encourage conversations around feelings and emotions. Inviting them into the story by discussing the text and illustrations is key, e.g. if a little child is scared of something in the story, ask your child, ‘What makes you feel scared?’

Whenever I have been teaching (or parenting) and I want to unpack and discuss a difficult topic, such as bullying, kids touching each other and/or crossing body boundaries, I always wish I had the ‘perfect’ book with me complete with engaging illustrations and simple language that kids can understand. I remember teaching a class of 8- and 9-year-olds and being told by the girls in the class that they didn’t want to go to camp because the boys would tease them and spy on them, and maybe even look at them in the toilets. At that moment, I wished I had a book on respecting body boundaries and consent – but I didn’t have anything at my fingertips to engage the whole class and unpack the girls’ concerns. It was in that moment that I decided to write, ‘Let’s Talk about Body Boundaries, Consent and Respect’. Children’s books are the perfect medium to unpack difficult topics. All my books have Discussion Questions for parents, teachers and carers to help them scaffold the learning and invite the children to bring their own experiences into the conversation.

All parents worry about tackling difficult topics. They worry they will mess it up. My advice is to do your homework. Find books and resources that help explain the topic before you broach it, so you feel more confident about the upcoming conversation. If you are worried about discussing a certain topic, your kids will be too. They will take their cues from you. So, relax. You’ve got this! Tricky conversations don’t need to be tricky if we begin early enough. For example, we can begin to talk about consent and body boundaries from a very early age. As soon as you child is born, talk to them about what you are doing in relation to their body, e.g. ‘I am just putting your socks on now so your feet will be warm.’ Explain to them that you are their ‘safe’ person and your job is to keep them safe; that means they can talk to you (once they are verbal) about anything at all, and you will always have time for their concerns and worries. Another important hint is to always call the genitals by their correct names from Day One. Make sure to model to your toddler that this is no big deal. There should be no shame, and because they are comfortable using the correct terms, it will be so much easier to discuss puberty and sex when they are older. It is also important that children use the correct terms so if they are every touched inappropriately, they can tell you exactly where.

‘Tricky topics’ that are crucial to talk about with toddlers are body safety, consent, body boundaries, respect, diversity and inclusion, gender equality, racial equality, empathy, talking about feelings, diversity in families. All of these topics can be discussed easily using appropriate picture books.

Top Tips for Having Little Big Chats With Your Kids

Start early.
Have ongoing conversations (rather than a one-off lesson) and come back to topics regularly.
Answer your child’s questions honestly.
Let your child know they can ask you anything, nothing is off the table.
Express that you don’t have all the answers, but you will find out more.
Encourage curiosity.
Develop your child’s vocabulary early around feelings and encourage them to verbalise how they are feeling, e.g. ‘I feel sad right now. When Paddy pushed me over, I felt sad and a little bit scared too.’
Make sure other family members and adults respect your child’s body boundary and agency.
Listen with empathy and patience to your child’s questions and concerns.
Model the kind of behaviours you want to see in your child.

To find out more about author, educator and advocate Jayneen Sanders and the books and resources that she has written and created via Educate2Empower, please visit www.e2epublishing.info