Kiddipedia
Do you believe it is possible to understand what someone goes through if you haven’t experienced it yourself?
In our generation, if you were unfortunate to fall victim to a bully at school you were able to mentally escape, even partially, when you went home and watched TV, played sport or computer games.
You were able to escape it, be away from it… even for a while.
Today, our children have 24/7 exposure to Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, Instant Messenger, Twitter. It’s also estimated that we are on our phones twice every hour and up to 110 times a day — Australia’s addiction even ranks ahead of the US and the UK.
So what when you tie together bullying and smartphone addiction, it’s a double whammy.
Children today can’t escape from bullying as easily as we could.
Home meant to be a place of refuge.
Children who are victims of cyberbullying feel they don’t have any relief, their bullies have 24-hour access to them.
Now to answer my original question, I don’t believe we can really understand the pressures of modern cyberbullying on children: the accessibility, public exposure, social pressures…
In Part 1 of the two-part feature, we receive some tips from Channel 7’s Resident Psychologist Jo Lamble to help and support Australian parents …..
- Q: What are the warning signs and or the behaviours parents should take note of if they feel their child may be being bullied online?
“The main symptom is a withdrawal – withdrawal from friends, family and a decreased interest in activities they used to love.
They might also spend (even) more time in their room on screens and their mood may be very flat or depressed.”
- Q: It’s a normal part of growing up that children encounter conflict, how do we know the difference between the two?
“It is normal to experience conflict and it’s good for teens to learn how to deal with conflict and not avoid it.
But when a child is having a fight with a friend, they will be more likely to want to talk about it or at least refer to it in some passing way.
When they are being bullied, they are often more withdrawn and far more embarrassed and affected, so the scary thing is that they may not talk to you about it.”
- Q: Cyberbullies may not realize how much damage they are doing. Do you have any tips for parents that suspect their child may the bully?
“This, unfortunately, is very rare – a parent suspecting that their child may be a bully. That’s why all parents need to assume that all children have the potential to be bullies or the victim of cyberbullying, so the conversation needs to be kept on the agenda.
Frequently asking if they have seen any online bullying, giving empathy for the victims and trying to understand the mentality of the bullies are all good things to frequently chat about with your teen.”
- Q: If parents speak to teachers it can leave children feeling that hey cant help themselves. Do you have any tips for parents who feel they want to talk to teachers, and or even the parents of other children, but don’t know the right thing to do?
“In my experience, talking to other parents, especially the parents of the suspected bully, usually goes horribly wrong so I wouldn’t recommend that approach.
Encouraging your child to talk to their teachers is the first approach but if your child can’t take that step, then parents need to make the school aware. We can’t allow our kids to handle this on their own.”
- Q: What’s the best way for parents to try to understand what their child is going through?
“By gently talking to them at times when there is minimal eye contact e.g. in the car, sitting side by side on the couch watching TV. Try not to interrogate, but tell them what you’ve noticed e.g. their withdrawal and depressed mood, and ask them if they can share what’s going on.”
- Q: What are the do’s for parents in this situation?
“Go gently. Reassure them that you are there for them and that you will help them deal with this situation. Remind them that this is about the bully & not them.
Tell them that they are loved unconditionally and even if they have made a mistake and that’s what the bully is targeting, they are still not deserving of the treatment they’re getting.
Workshop ideas for how to deal with the bully.”
- Q: What are the don’t’s for parents in this situation?
“Don’t get angry.
Don’t threaten to call the bully or their parents.
Don’t embarrass them by telling everyone about what’s going on.”
We would love to hear your thoughts on this subject and any tips you may have.
Stay tuned for Part 2: Making bullying un-cool
For more great tips from Jo Lamble visit www.jolamble.com
You might also like to read:
Choosing the right school for your child
Supporting your child’s transition to school
How to Strengthen your Child’s Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
Eight vital skills children develop in early learning and care settings
