Stel Coombe Heath Wholesome Lifestyle Project
Are you worried that someone is struggling with disordered eating or an eating disorder? While you can’t force a person with disordered eating to change, you can offer your support and encourage treatment. And that can make a huge difference to your loved one’s recovery.
I struggled with two eating disorders, body dysmorphia and emotional eating for many years. I have been binge-free now for over two and a half years free of eating disorders. For a long time, I believed my disordered relationship with food was normal and that is the belief of many struggling with disordered eating.
A great deal of people know about eating disorders, but not many people are aware of the term disordered eating.
Many think of eating disorders as anorexia or bulimia, however, there are a numerous types of eating disorders and disordered eating is linked to them.
Disordered eating can go under the radar and is often something that we need to look out for, and some patterns you might even recognise in yourself.
So, let’s, look at what disordered eating is, nowadays disordered eating is something that is actually common and it’s becoming even more prevalent with the diet industry pushing over excessive dieting and obsessions with body appearance.
Disordered eating is a range of irregular eating behaviours that may or may not actually warrant a diagnosis.
An eating disorder on the other hand, is characterized by a mental illness, where people are obsessed with exercise, food, body weight, and body shape, this obsession becomes a preoccupation of their life and that’s all they can think about.
However, the two are actually very similar and disordered eating might seem harmless, you might think that you are going on this “healthy cleanse”, and you might think that being on a diet is something that is important to do and it is nowadays praised, but unfortunately that can lead to other forms of a serious eating disorders. There is a line between being healthy and starting to make food and exercise an obsession.
Here are some signs of disordered eating:
- chronic dieting,
- fasting,
- skipping meals,
- binge eating,
- feeling like you don’t have trust around food,
- being controlling around food,
- constant dieting,
- cutting our food groups.
Many of the above have been normalised in the diet industry, however unbalanced, eating, such as cutting out certain food groups and fasting can also lead to disordered eating and obsessive food behaviours.
When someone starts obsessing over food, it can eventually lead to clinical eating disorders, it’s almost like a gateway to eating disorders. The stricter we are with food, or the more controlling we are with food, the more we can tend to lean to other measures to maintain a preferred body shape. Disordered eating has been linked to other mental illnesses, such as suicidal thoughts, anxiety and depression.
Disordered eating can lead to:
- weight gain,
- osteoporosis (since we deprive bones of nutrition)
- fatigue,
- poor concentration,
- obsession with food and body appearance
- obsession with the scale
- headaches
- muscle cramps due to lack of nutrition
Now that you know the basics of disordered eating, how do you support someone who you might think has disordered eating or an eating disorder?
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Look for the warning signs.
Restrictive food behaviour or dieting can result in disordered eating, as well as further disordered eating behaviour.
These are some signs to look out for when you are supporting a friend or family member:
- making excuses to avoid meals or situations involving food,
- unexplained disappearances of large amounts of food and short periods of time,
- lots of empty food packages and wrappers, often hidden at the bottom of the trash,
- obsessively counting calories reading food labels and weighing portions.
- disappearing right after a meal or making frequent trips to the bathroom,
- using excessive exercise, taking laxatives, diuretics, or enemas.
- extreme preoccupation with body, or weight,
- significant weight loss, rapid weight gain or constantly fluctuating weight.
The following two are probably the most important and this is how we show up in front of others and what our own relationship with food is. The thing is, we often set an example for children or family members, there is already so much bombardment from the media in magazines, social media and television adds promoting thin as the “Ideal body size”.
Small little sayings like “I’m having a sneaky treat “, “I’m so bad for eating this”, “I deserve a chocolate” can make others feel guilty for their food choices.
Think about what you say about your body in front of others, especially children. You might make an innocent fat joke about yourself but that can really impact how others feel about their own bodies.
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Food neutrality.
Food neutrality means all foods have the same energetic pool and moral value, no foods are inherently good or bad or healthy or unhealthy.
Food is inherently neutral, therefore become a non-judgmental observer of food.
The more we label food, the more we add guilt or shame to those struggling with disordered eating.
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Set a positive example.
Watch your language about your own body and eating behaviours, food biases in front of family members, friends, and children.
What we say in front of others might add to guilt and shame or might allow someone to think that there is something wrong with their bodies or behaviours with food.
Be compassionate to yourself and your body and let that be a reflection of how you want others to see this.
The last part obviously is probably the hardest one, and that is to talk about it, know that you might come up with confrontation, they might shut down or deny their behavoir , be patient with them.
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Talk about it.
If you are concerned that someone might be struggling with disordered eating, allow them a safe space to have a conversation about it.
Often, people with eating disorders or disordered eating are afraid to ask for help.
Pick a good time to have a conversation, somewhere in private where they won’t feel like they’re on the attack.
Explain why you concerned, letting them know that they are not alone and that there are communities out there, where they can get support without judgement.
Be patient and supportive, don’t give up on the person, if the person shuts you down.
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Encourage them to get help.
For me, the most painful thing was knowing that I was alone and that there was no one out there that could help me, encourage a person to reach out for help. Contact a recovery specialist with sufficient knowledge and experience with disordered eating.
If you have a family member struggling with disordered eating please contact me for support, https://wholesomelifestyleproject.com/work-with-me/lets-get-started/
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