How best to support your toddler’s sleep.

I work with many families of toddler-age children (2.5-5yrs) as this is a common age for sleep issues to arise. There are a number of factors that can lead to these issues:

Decreasing/eliminating day naps;
Transitioned to a ‘big kid’ bed;
Increased stimulation due to daycare/kindergarten;
Starting to test boundaries around sleep and bedtime; and
Fussiness around food.

When sleep issues arise, parents understandably become desperate to achieve sleep. This can, however, lead to the development of further unwanted issues. These short-term ‘fixes’ can lead to nightly patterns and routines that simply aren’t sustainable long-term, such as reactive co-sleeping, later bedtimes, early morning starts, bottles/food overnight, and giving into the multiple bedtime stalling tactics your toddler may throw at you (one more drink, one more book, one cuddle!).

If this is sounding familiar and you are succumbing to laying with your little one until they fall asleep, or starting your day at 5am with your determined toddler who is adamant they don’t need anymore sleep (!) then read on for my best advice and tips to get their sleep back on track.

Sleep environment

Ensuring that your child’s sleep environment is best set up to promote sleep is your first step!

Darkness is an important component in achieving good quality sleep. Our naturally occurring sleep hormone melatonin is produced during darkness, therefore the darker the better. This becomes particularly important if early morning rising is an issue. If there is a genuine fear of the dark, then a dim red or pink light may be appropriate. Note that, although red light doesn’t block your melatonin production like blue and white light does, it won’t aid in your sleep so I would avoid a night light if possible.
Sleep music or sleep meditation is a lovely sleep association that can aid in your little one’s sleep. There are lots of free apps/music that can be downloaded to play during your wind down routine and whilst your little one sleeps. It can help calm busy minds to lay and listen to their music or meditation and remove the pressure to fall asleep. It can also assist with early morning rising to block out any external noise that could be driving them awake.
Room temperature is another easy element we can improve to help with our child’s sleep. Our body has a natural dip in temperature around 3am and this reduction can cause overnight waking. It can be difficult for some toddlers to keep blankets on, so ensuring that they are dressed appropriately for the weather is vital. Opting for a sleep suit with legs can be a great tool to help regulate their body temperature.

Nutrition

There is a strong link between nutrition and sleep, therefore it is important to ensure that we are including foods into their diet that will promote sleep.
Foods rich in Tryptophan and B complex vitamins help support sleep neurotransmitters such as serotonin and melatonin. Examples of these foods are turkey, chicken, nuts, bananas, oats and eggs.
A good intake of protein across the day is important in stabilising their blood sugars to avoid a hypoglycaemic dip overnight. This dip can cause the body to produce adrenaline and contribute to night waking. Foods such as eggs, legumes, tinned salmon/ tuna are great foods to offer for a protein source.
Zinc, Iron and Omega 3 are also important in helping promote sleep in our children.
Magnesium is also an important mineral in terms of sleep. It is a natural muscle relaxant and can aid in sleep. Having a bath with magnesium flakes prior to bed is a wonderful way to prepare for sleep.
I like to aim for lunch to be their main meal of the day as this can take the pressure off dinner when they are generally more tired and fussy. I would include a protein source here.

Age appropriate Routines

From 2.5yrs it is important to begin decreasing our child’s nap lengths. This will protect our bedtime and overnights. Continuing with long day naps beyond 2.5yrs can lead to prolonged settling at bedtime, fragmented night sleep and early morning rising.

From 2.5yrs, I recommend a nap beginning at 12:30pm/1:00pm for no longer than 45-60 minutes.

Naps are generally gone by three years (a sad day I know!) but the efforts will be worth it when your toddler goes down happily at bedtime with little protest.

For bedtime I recommend 6:30pm/7:00pm. This falls in line with their natural sleep window as melatonin levels naturally rise at this time.

A common misconception is that a later bedtime will equate to more sleep overnight or a later morning start. This is rarely the answer, as later bedtimes have an associated risk of your child entering a state of overtiredness. Overtiredness leads to prolonged settling to sleep, frequent night waking and early morning rising. This is because overtiredness results in an increase of the stress hormone cortisol, which diminishes the ability to settle into a deeper sleep.

Sleep associations

Sleep associations are what your child relies on in order to settle and resettle to sleep. For some children this could be a dummy or feeding, for others it may be a parent laying next to them until they fall asleep.

Sleep associations can greatly affect a child’s ability to move from sleep cycle to sleep cycle as they become very attached to their sleep associations and have difficulty falling asleep without them.

Keep in mind we want them to fall asleep the same way they will wake up so that when they go through partial arousals between sleep cycles (every 2-4hrs overnight) they are able to resettle back to sleep.

Therefore, the child comes to depend on whatever level of assistance you provide during their initial bedtime routine as they awake throughout the night. To help eliminate and improve overnight waking, you need to first address what is happening when settling to sleep at bedtime.

Sleep strategies

Toddlers respond beautifully when given clear positive boundaries around sleep. They thrive in a setting of routine and consistency. These are my top strategies to bring some predictability back to your nightly routine.

Sleep rules: Create a clear routine that the whole family can follow. Involve your toddler in creating a visual poster that can be on display. This may include how many books you will read as well as how many kisses and cuddles they will receive before bed. Be creative and make this fun. Doing this, will help eliminate the “one more” battle.
Clear rewards: Let’s face it, they aren’t doing anything for free! Set some achievable goals and rewards for your toddler, remembering that you want to set them up to win! Eg – if you go to sleep on your own and follow your sleep rules then you get a sticker or reward in the morning.
Role play: This is a fantastic way to model the behaviour we seek from our child. Using a teddy or doll, act out the sleep rules with your toddler so that they know exactly what to expect from the nightly routine.
Settling: Implement a consistent settling technique so that when your little one needs more support you can ensure that your approach is consistent. Whether this be an in room or out of room approach, we need to aim for our response to be the same each time. One common mistake is for parents to happily lay with their child during bedtime, however, opting for an out of room approach throughout the night. This can send mixed messages to our children, resulting in confusion (and more protests at night!).

I truly believe that, by using the right tools and implementing a more consistent approach, all children can achieve the good quality sleep they (and their parents) need and deserve.

Jessica Carroll

The Holistic Bub

Jessica Carroll is a certified baby & child sleep consultant, Nurse and mother to 3 gorgeous children.

She has completed further training to enable her to work with children of all ages with additional needs such as Anxiety, ASD, ADHD and other developmental delays.

At Holistic Bub Jessica works closely with families to create a plan of action that accommodates not only their child’s individual needs but also aligns with their parenting values and beliefs. Her aim whilst working with families is to educate, empower and encourage them on their sleep journey to help restore a sense of calm and rest within their household. She wants families to not just survive but THRIVE!