Eden Roc Coaching and Consulting
The first child, the first smiles, the first time you become a Mother, Father, Aunty, Grandparent. The beginning of toilet training, and first drawing, first tooth, first day at day care and school. Mixed in with these firsts become the last time you need to change a nappy, last time you express milk/clean bottles, last time you are the toilet training cheerleader as they now can do this independently. And then it’s not long before they begin the next stage of independence and exploring the world at primary school.
Sometimes we are so busy in the routine of looking after our little ones, alongside all the other hats we wear. It’s undeniable our modern lives are demanding, and sadly because of this we may fall into the trap of being a slave to the mundaneness of routines and miss the magic of these moments. Toilet training for example, can be trying! Near misses, frustration, successes, star charts, prizes, worry …and then one day it all magically comes together and you are no longer required to be in attendance at every loo activity.
Whilst we may celebrate that that stage is finally over, this ‘last time’, is an opportunity to reflect on what was great about those times. I would offer that those times made me stop, be present with my little one, be attuned to what was happening for them, their excitement, their upset, be their biggest cheeleader with OTT encouragement! Being patient, not comparing your child to others progress, notice what kind of reward system they responded to and equally what they didn’t respond to.
This time allowed me ‘on the job training’ for what our kids will need throughout all their life, and I can apply what I learned from these times. Attunement, encouragement, being there when they are happy and sad, even when their body language says ‘go away’. Knowing what they value and what they are motivated by, and what doesn’t motivate them. It’s different for every child, so attunement again, is key. I would also add that my energy and engagement with them had a direct impact on their experiences as well.
So, I would encourage you to think about what you may be learning whilst you engage in the routines of toilet training, teething, dressing, eating and helping little ones to interact with the world. As a Mama of 3 girls, now 17 and 12 year old twins, I see such high value in reflecting on what I learned in the early days, and how those key learnings have continued to apply all throughout their lives to date. All the firsts and last of each stage of our little ones lives offer us rich opportunity for growth –it’s never just the kids learning about life, it is equally us that are learning too.
