Trish Corbett
Attitude – pick a good one
Every day you make choices. Attitude is a choice. To help your child develop a positive mindset they need positive encouragement.
Your child needs to know their strengths and that they can develop any skill they put their mind to.
When you see your child being helpful without them asking, let them know that you have noticed.
Encourage your child by telling them of the positive character traits you see in them as you see them.
Your belief in their ability to overcome any task or challenge goes a long way towards them taking the necessary action.
Words encourage or discourage
Words have a massive impact that leaves an impression throughout their entire life. For the sake of your child’s future mental health, you must use words to encourage your child.
The words you say to your child impact their mindset. They stay in their head and they continue to repeat those words to themselves. Make them positive! As a major role model in their life be mindful of what you say and how you say it.
Children love to please so when you comment on what you see and are likely to repeat it. Every human being does. So praise away. The most effective way is to mention the positive behaviour you see when you see them displayed. This builds their self-esteem as well as their self-awareness.
The research concludes that five positive words expressed outweigh each negative word. So this means saying five positive things for each negative expression that you share. As a parent, it is your responsibility to learn what positive words will liberate your child.
How often do you hear people speak negatively to a child? Words such as ‘stop being stupid’, ‘don’t be stupid’, ‘you’re so naughty’, ‘you’re an idiot’, ‘you’re useless’ and so much more are very damaging. Not to mention unnecessary. It breaks my heart every time I heard someone say this to their child because I know it is breaking a piece of the child’s heart and leaving a lasting, negative, impression on them.
Creating a growth mindset
What is a growth mindset? It’s a belief that your mind can grow and develop. Nothing is impossible. You can learn anything you want to. As a child’s primary role model, you can show your child that you too are learning constantly. Life is all about learning.
A growth mindset is opposite a fixed mindset. A fixed mindset means you have some fixed ideas which you believe to be true and that there is no other option. Whatever you say, or belief is true, until you realise it isn’t.
Certain words, said often, are instilled in the mind. So, make those words positive. Spoken words to you by others as a child are often replayed in your head as an adult. When you feel down I’ll guarantee it is the negative words that some role model, at some stage, said to you.
It is your responsibility, as an adult, to show children what an adult looks like. Children do not recognise that adults and behaving like an adult might be two different things.
Life’s tough sometimes. Everyone has their challenges and the challenge nobody needs, or wants, are negative thoughts about ourselves. At some stage, somebody that you looked up to, said something negative to you, even though they loved you and you know they love you. As an adult, you remember who you looked up to, who your favourite teachers were. You also remember adults you didn’t like – become a favourite for the children in your life.
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