Kitril
Parenthood means everything to me. I love, love, love being a father. To make things even better, I have been serving as a parent educator for a few years now, and this has been an absolutely awesome journey. Because of my experience, I want to share with you some examples of ways you can show love and care to your children that you can add to your parenting arsenal.
- Provide Nurturing Love/Care to Your Child(ren)- We should demonstrate kindness and compassion by being gentle as well as respectful when interacting with our children. Aggression or any humiliation should not be used when engaging with them. Our main goal should be to build their self-esteem and confidence. This occurs when we illustrate respect towards them.
- Avoid Name Calling/Giving Negative Labels to Your Child(ren)- As caregivers, we must be consistent and loving when disciplining our kids by addressing inappropriate behavior and actions versus labeling them with a negative term. For example, a parent should not say- you are a terrible child. Instead, he/she should say- you are misbehaving. Labeling is such a powerful concept. Typically, children will act out whatever label they are given. If a child is called bad, mean, or terrible, then the child will manifest this behavior. On the contrary, if a child is called beautiful, smart, and good, then the child will demonstrate behavior that aligns with these terms. Be mindful to speak positively to your child(ren).
- Honor the Uniqueness of Your Child(ren)- We are to acknowledge the uniqueness/individuality of each child, realizing that everyone is different and special in his/her own way. We don’t want to favor any of our children more than the others, which is typically shown by making unfair, biased comparisons. Here are a few examples- Tom is the smartest of all my children, or Tomika is my prettiest daughter. Doing this can have an adverse effect on a child’s confidence and self-image. Additionally, in some cases, it even causes friction and animosity among siblings.
- Be present and play an active, supportive role to your child(ren)- Parents should support their children in their endeavors- academics, sports, music, boy scouts/girl scouts, etc. I always emphasize the concept of presence vs. presents. In essence, as parents, we are responsible for providing food, clothing, shelter, protection, and other material things (presents). However, the most important contribution we can make in our kids’ lives is giving them quality time and our undivided attention. When they transition into adulthood, their childhood experiences and encounters are going to be the memories that they keep and cherish the most, not the material things they received.
- Set realistic expectations- Establishing unrealistic expectations sets children up for failure. When the bar is raised to high, it decreases their confidence because they are unable to reach it. Therefore, realistic expectations must be set for them. The goals you assign them should be challenging but not impossible to reach. This will enable your children to accomplish their goals, which will cause them to feel adequate/empowered and boost their confidence.
Excerpt from Living, Loving, Leading by Damon Nailer
