Fussy Eater Solutions
It can be challenging to feed fussy eaters at family gatherings. Comments from well-intentioned family members may trigger your anxiety and stress: “is Chloe still on crackers?” If you are thinking about how to tackle this festive season for the better check out my 5 tips.
Managing Appetite and sweets
It is the end of a difficult year, children have gone back to school, families are dealing with a range of emotions and complex situations. Children will be exhausted, everyone will be around Xmas. In Australia, it appears we will be able to enjoy some degree of family gathering. Visiting friends and family in the lead up to Xmas will affect children’s routines. A disturbed routine combined with multiple offers of sweets and treats will affect children’s appetite. So do expect your child’s appetite to be all reduced at meals. One way to manage sweets is to integrate them into a meal or at snack time, usually at the end. This helps reduce the “sugar hit” and also enables you to be neutral about sweets. If your family eats sweets then you and the children may as well savour them! On Xmas day ensure the children get a good breakfast in case lunch gets delayed, it usually does.
The lead-up to Christmas is for Practice
I remember my first Xmas in Australia. My school age nephews started to run around the table within minutes of having sat down. My culture of origin works really well for Xmas: children learn to sit down for a little while. The expectation is not about eating. That makes all the difference. When we try to get fussy eaters to sit down and eat, especially when there is excitement and expectations, it can be too big an ask. So teaching children to sit down, for a little while, enables them to learn to relax and become more tolerant of the food that is on the table or on their plate. Today see if you can start teaching your child to sit down a little while (10 min may be the most you can, 20 min may be a long term goal).
I always advocate for family style serving, but if you are not quite there yet, ensure you child has learned to push away food on the side of their plate, or in a side-bowl. Children can also practice spitting out a disliked food in a napkin.
It is a good idea to think about some of your expectations and start spelling them out and implement them to a certain degree. Children will not do so well if Xmas day comes with new rules and new expectations. The holiday period will present many opportunities for practice.
Some children really struggle with surprises or change. The various food on display may overwhelm children. With some of the families I work with we have started to practice some degree of exposure to some Xmas food. For example, the family is offering roast chicken and glazed carrots a few times until Xmas. The more fussy eaters know what to expect the more they can relax.
Christmas is for shining
You can involve children in cooking specific dishes for Xmas. With the older children we are looking for recipes they can help reproduce so the families can bring a special dish: “Chloe made the mint sauce and glazed the carrots with me, let her know what you think”.
“Archie helped make the cheese board”. You can find more ideas on Fussy Eater Solutions’ instagram as we share more ideas here over the next month.
Christmas day is for inclusion
Most Australian families tend to put together a buffet, which should enable your child to find something they can eat. You can bring a rescue dish your child, yet offer it as part of the buffet, so that your child feels included. Children will feel included if their fussy eating is not singled-out or discussed at Xmas.
Christmas day is for conviviality and positive exposure
It is best to let the older children help themselves and accept they may be very choosy on Xmas day. You may be familiar with removing pressure when feeding your children. Xmas is no exception. Just because Grandma makes her special peas does not mean they have to eat it. Children may do well sitting with the other children, as modelling from other children is always a bonus[1].
With younger fussy eaters, it is best to help them to small servings, overloading their plate will only put them off. Once they have eaten some basics they may sit on a favourite adult’s lap and explore what is on their plate by themselves. There is evidence that conviviality during festive gatherings is conducive to children eating new food. They are a great opportunity to model joyful enjoyment of food.
So what expectations do yo have for Xmas? Hopefully these tips will get you started on defining what you need to do. You see it is not so much about what children will eat, it is about how they will manage being at the family gathering. If you and your child can relax than I think you will have a wonderful time with your family.
Ready to turn the tide on stressful family dinners? Then my free e-book is for you. It covers my top starter tips to raising a happy, healthy eater.
[1] Food rejections in children: Cognitive and social/environmental factors involved in food neophobia and picky/fussy eating behavior
Lafraire et al. 2015
DOI: 10.1016/j.appet.2015.09.008
