Kiddipedia
As summer ends and we begin preparing our kids to head back to school it can be a testing and stressful time – for kids and adults alike. They can experience a big mix of feelings, from excitement, to concern, right through to anxiety and low mood. This is very common, and normal, however its essential to support parents, caregivers, children and young people to navigate this transition back-to-school to ensure it is as smooth and comfortable as possible. A supported, and well managed return to school can help kids enter their next (or first!) year of education with confidence and calm which goes a long way to having positive school experiences.
| Statistics
The biggest concerns for children in early primary (pre-primary and kindy) are centred around saying bye to their parent/caregivers and being alone at school, feeling left out or worried about getting teased. 27% of school aged children worry about exams, whilst 14% are nervous about having a problem with their teacher. For teenagers the biggest worries are about dealing with stress, with up to 44.7% reportedly being concerned with this, 34.3% are nervous about studying and 33.2% are concerned about mental health. |
Even if you, or your child don’t have any specific concerns, getting back into the school/morning routine can be a challenge, so some tips are below to help with the back-to-school transition
- Encourage them to talk, or if they are struggling to identify their worries you might make some suggestions and check if they connect with your comments/queries (you know them best and will likely already know what triggers or worries them). “I can see you are really worried because you seem really restless and can’t concentrate, I wonder whether you might be a bit nervous about going back to school? I’m really curious about what might be bothering you the most?” or “I know that you were really worried last year about whether you would like your teacher, I’m wondering if you might be feeling like that again?”. Talking sounds so simple, but it can be very effective in reducing distress. When we truly listen to our children (or anyone for that matter), then feel heard and seen and this strengthens their connection with you, which in turn helps them feel less overwhelmed.
- Preparation is Key! Get your home and family ready for the transition, and allow your kids to contribute to the plan. When kids are involved in planning not only do they feel more comfortable because they know what to expect, they feel more in control and in charge of the situation which helps reduce fears. You’re also likely to get more “buy in” from your child if they get to have their say in how the return to school plan goes. Strategies could include planning lunches and school snacks and doing a big bake prior to starting back to school. Your child will be able to contribute but when they pack, and then open their lunch box on their first day of school they will feel a sense of comfort as they know what has been packed. Other strategies might be getting their school bags out of hiding and start packing books and supplies. Another strategy could be going to the school (if the grounds are accessible) to see their class, head online and find out the bell times, where the canteen is etc. You could even clean and get their uniform prepped and ready and in a visible place. These things are all cues to help your child get back into the swing of returning to school.
- Get into your back to school routine! After a lovely long summer of unstructured (or less structured) time it is important to gently re-introduce the school routine. This might include things like doing the school walk, or car trip a few times in advance (consider them practice runs) to help them become familiar with the route, set the alarm again to get into the routine of waking up early. Perhaps you could make some plans that coincide with their school start time so everyone has to get up, ready and out of the house on time. Another strategy you might try is packing lunch and recess into their lunch box, to get them back into the routine (or learning how if they are just starting school) of eating set things at a certain time (getting out of the habit of grazing directly from the fridge/cupboard can be hard to break). All of these strategies are aimed at helping your child if they are worried about what to expect, but routine also helps our kids feel secure as they know what will happen next, so it’s a great idea to bring some routine in towards the tail end of the holidays.
- Model Positivity. Your attitude and response to school starting again will rub off on your child. They are little sponges and will be taking in all of your cues, worries, frustrations, stresses etc. So ensure that when you talk about school preparation that it is positive. Its not to say that you have to lie, but ensure that your feedback and comments are balanced or are solution focussed so they can see a way around the “speedhump” or issue. They are then likely to see school as something positive as well, and this attitude will go a long way towards feeling more confident and comfortable about returning. You might also get specific and spend some time brainstorming some of the positives about school…and get your kids involved in this! Are they excited to see their friends again, do they have a class they look forward to is? Is there a special teacher they have connected with? Remind them of these exciting and positive elements of school
- Normalise their worries. Children often feel like they are the only ones experiencing something, and then they can feel isolated and withdraw, as they might assume no-one else understands them or they could be embarrassed about their feelings. Even something as simple as sitting down together and sharing that others feel worried, or doing a bit of research together on the internet (so they can see some stats, or articles) to demonstrate others experience the same concerns as themselves. You can also reassure them without needing to rush in and fix the issue but simply naming the emotions you can see them going through. This validates them, and really strengthens your relationships/connection as they feel heard, which is turn reduces the intensity of their feelings. It can be as simple as saying something like “I can see how nervous you are able going back to school” or, “I noticed that you don’t really want to talk about school and seem quiet, I wonder if you are worried about going back to school?”
Although getting back into the routine of school might be challenging its important to help your child identify their concerns, and be present while they work through it. These strategies can certainly help get the wheels in motion, but your presence and emotional support with be key in setting up a successful transition back to school for the whole family.
References
Kagan, S. L., & Neuman, M. J. (1998). Lessons from Three Decades of Transition Research. The Elementary School Journal, 4, 365 – 379.
Vogler, P., Crivello, G., & Woodhead, M. (2008). Early Childhood Transitions Research: A Review of Concepts, Theory and Practice, Bernard van Leer Foundation, The Hague.
Rachel Tomlinson is a registered psychologist who has worked with adults, families, and children (birth through eighteen years old) in a variety of settings. She has presented at national conferences on mental health topics (including trauma and play therapy) as well as guest lectured about domestic violence and relationships at colleges and universities. She also serves as a subject matter expert for journalists on topics such as parenting, child development, and relationships. She resides in Perth, Australia.
