Why settling your matters quickly is in the best interest of your child

Your child has two parents. Both parents are equally important and influential on the child and the choices that the parents make certainly impact the child. The impact may be positive and negative which is why settling your parenting and financial matters quickly is in the best interest of your child.

It’s rather common to hear two parents disagreeing or fighting over how much time each wants with the child, when one parent using their child against the other parent or one parent is so stressed about reaching an agreement that they notice changes in their child. High stress and conflict between the parents do trickle down and affect your child.

When you break-up, often the earlier stages are the most amicable moments. “When I started at court, my Judge said ‘if you don’t like each other now, by the end of the court case you will hate each other. I encourage you two to reach a quick agreement,’” shares Rachael Scharrer, Life Change Counsellor and Divorce expert at Divorce Answered. If you and your child’s other parent disagree, agitate each other and fight, then your child will feel it. Even if you think that you are the best at hiding your pain, upset, frustration and stress, your child still senses changes within you.

Children are sensitive and can pick up on your vibrational shifts. You may notice that your child becomes clingy, aggressive, withdrawn, sad, hyperactive, acts out, behaves unlike a child their age may usually behave.

You and your child’s other parent can help your child by reaching settlements quickly. You can do this by:

Creating a parenting plan. The quicker that you reach a parenting agreement, the faster that you can plan your future time with your child.
lodge your parenting plan at court. By lodging your agreement at court, your plan will become an Order. This gives you the security of knowing that you have the opportunity for recourse if you or your child’s other parent don’t adhere to the orders.
Update your parenting plans/orders regularly as circumstances change. If something changes for you, the other parent, your child or if something isn’t working in the parenting plan/order, then it’s helpful to update your parenting plan and lodge it at court as an order.
Create a Child Maintenance Agreement (also known as a binding child support agreement). A child maintenance agreement creates financial certainty for each parent by outlining each individual parent’s financial responsibility for additional costs of raising a child.

When you can limit the areas of confusion and uncertainty by having documented and enforceable agreements or orders, you and your child’s other parent will be in a better position to co-parent cohesively. Better still, your child will be the winner – their best interests will be attended to while their parents maintain more civility and respect.