Kiddipedia
The job of parents, apart from care, love, education, food and security, is to ensure their child develops into an independent adult capable of managing their life.
Most of our children are very capable at undertaking age-appropriate tasks and generally love to do things to help mummy and daddy. They love doing the tasks or chores that mummy and daddy are doing as it makes them feel ‘grown-up’ and clever. It helps them feel independent and skilled as they learn to do certain chores. This then assists them into developing independent living skills, so they do not need to rely on a parent to do things for them. It is basically teaching self-care skills.
We have all heard too many women, complaining their male partner can’t cook, clean, wash or iron. We are now also hearing young women complain they don’t know these basic tasks. Then we have the issue of cleaning up, shopping, cooking healthy food, and of course – managing money and finances appropriately. Many of which the now adult child is unable to manage.
These are all the skills parents have a duty to teach their children as they grow.
When should kids start doing household chores?
Children around age 3 years old have an increasing ability to development skills. This means at 3 years old a child can learn to pack away toys, place dirty clothes in the basket, put rubbish in the bin, place their dirty dish and cup onto the sink.
By 4 years old, they can place their clothes into the correct drawers, shoes in the cupboard, all toys packed away in the correct place. Many of these skills are also learned and done at day-care and preschool.
Chores progress to setting the table, cleaning up after a meal, before by age of 5-6 years, when basic vacuuming, sweeping, and wiping surfaces can be done. At age 7 and 8 years they can start to help preparing breakfast, lunch, and dinner under supervision. They can measure, pour, stir, add ingredients to create a yummy and healthy meal. Kids love this opportunity.
Sure, when they start any of these tasks, they are not fully capable. This is the role of the parent. to demonstrate, teach, help, praise and guide. This takes time that many parents feel they do not have. However, not investing a small amount of time to teach the young child these basic skills can have a detrimental effect as they grow, due to the child failing to develop the basic skill level to expand upon as they mature.
Should I pay them for their chores and basic self-care duties?
A young child gets their reward with their parent’s attention, time, lots of praise, doing things with them, and cuddles. That payment is worth everything to a young child. When we start to guide and educate our little ones to do these basic tasks, it becomes an expected part of their day and life. It isn’t a request or job; it is a natural part of their day. Just the same as getting up, getting dressed and eating breakfast or dinner. It’s just what you do.
A child raised with these developing skills will continue to do them as a natural matter of progression. They love it when the tasks, or chores, get a little more challenging because it demonstrates to them, they are becoming more skilled and trusted by their parents to do these tasks. This is beneficial for every child’s self-worth and self-esteem. Therefore, teaching and expecting your child to do household tasks or chores builds their self-value.
From LifestyleDr Karen Phillip https://karenphillip.com.au
Lifestyle Karen Phillip is a Counselling Psychotherapist and Clinical Hypnotherapist who runs a busy practice on the lovely Central Coast of NSW.
