Shane Warren


There are clearly no-one-reason couples choose to become parents and not every adult even makes this choice to be a parent, however, when a gay male couple choose to become parents there are a number of factors they confront none more challenging than how to achieve this…

This very question tends to lead many gay men into the choice between surrogacy or adoption; each brings with it their own advantages and challenges; let’s explore each in greater depth:



To understand surrogacy, one needs to understand the two different methods spoken about – traditional and gestational.  In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate’s egg is used to create the embryo of the child she is going to carry (either through intrauterine insemination or in vitro fertilization.) In gestational surrogacy, the intended parents create an embryo using their own egg and sperm or using donated egg or sperm.

Some of the key advantages of surrogacy is that the intended parent can have a genetic link to the child, and throughout the pregnancy journey they tend to have greater control over the choices made that may affect the child within the womb.  Surrogacy is also a well-regulated service in many states around the world minimising the risk of ‘surprises’ after the birth with legally binding contracts.

However, it is a very expensive option and requires a lot of medical intervention and depends heavily of the successful synergy between the surrogate’s body (primed by fertility medication) and embryo created in a clinical environment.  It is also a journey heavily dependent on positive relationship between the surrogate and intended parents.



Adoption is when someone is appointed the legal guardians of a child that is not necessarily a genetic part of their family.  When adopting a child from an at-risk environment then can be a great sense of personal comfort with the process being less medically invasive for all parties involved.

However, in the beginning the process of adoption is not so legally binding as surrogacy processes which can create a sense of uncertainty for intended parents; with biological parents often reserving the option to be known or stay in touch with the child.  There is also a challenge that there tends to be more hopeful parents to adopt then children in the system to adopt; with gay and lesbian couples often not prioritised by adopting agencies.

While surrogacy and adoption are not the only two pathways gay men have to follow in their journey to become parents; they are often seen as the ‘easiest’ options to follow each with their own pros and cons so much discussion must be had between couple who wish to take on this journey.


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