Elise Clement
Your ability to conceive is influenced by a complex interaction between physical, psychological and emotional factors. The body/mind connection is essential to take into consideration when looking to enhance your ability to conceive a baby. It takes a lot of energy to kick-start this amazing process of creating a new life, yet so much of the energy needed can be locked in pent-up emotions, unresolved grief, or unaddressed stress. Here’s how you can support yourself to establish the mindset, heartset and physical strength to not only enhance your ability to conceive, but also approach this exciting time in your life with more confidence.
“If you are contemplating pregnancy, think of yourself as a vessel for new life. Prepare your vessel with intent.” Christiane Northrup
Acknowledge ambivalence
Something that has the potential to transform your life forever, like having a baby, is bound to raise doubts, questions and fear. It is totally normal to have a great desire for a baby while at the same time being terrified by the process. Some women may doubt their ability to take care of their child. Maybe they fear history repeating: they think they’ll treat their child the same way they were treated growing up. Others may be scared about giving birth. Remember that ambivalence is only a problem when it is not acknowledged. Recognising and naming your ambivalence are essential steps towards strengthening your emotional health as you prepare for conception. To do this, you can journal using the following prompts:
Why wouldn’t you want a baby?
What do you feel would be different once you have a family?
What is your greatest fear about pregnancy or raising a child?
Identifying and labelling emotions can significantly reduce the internal tension and anxiety they may cause.
Address internalised stories and limiting beliefs
We all carry within us stories and beliefs, gathered along our life journey. The ones that limit a woman’s potential and capacity to open to her creative power are more likely to affect her ability to conceive. These limiting stories and beliefs are often handed down from the family of origin or imprinted in the psyche after disturbing life experiences. When they are brought to light, a lot of psychological healing can take place and pave the way for enhanced fertility. These internalised stories are often easier to explore with a coach or a therapist, however you can also start the work on your own and decide whether you need more support along the way. Here’s some journaling prompts to get you started:
What obstacles do you feel are in the way of you starting a family?
What negative messages have you internalised from people around you (family/friends/media) about having children?
What did this lead you to believe about the process of conception/pregnancy/labour and birth/ raising a child?
Once you’ve identified some stories and beliefs that may be holding you back, it’s time to turn them on their heads! You can do that by imagining your best friend sharing these stories with you. What words of wisdom/compassion would you share to support her in reframing these stories to help her believe in herself and her capacity to become a mother?
Supporting hormonal health
We live in times when stress is hard to avoid. Although our stress response is a healthy in-built survival mechanism, when it is left unmanaged, it can have a direct impact on ovulation and subsequent hormonal balance. Constant high adrenaline and cortisol levels lead to imbalances in other hormones that are important for optimal fertility, including thyroid hormones, progesterone and estrogen. The very act of trying to conceive without positive results can bring additional stress and create an unsupportive emotional downward spiral.
The first thing is not to stress about stress but to educate yourself so you can manage it effectively. My downloadable guide “Managing Stress” is the perfect companion to not only understand the stress response in your body, but also gather the tools and resources to keep stress in check and lower its impact on your hormonal balance.
Guided imagery is also a powerful tool to quiet the mind, relax and open the body. Its effectiveness has been validated by research, demonstrating its positive impact on health, wellness and behavioural change. I highly recommend this free “Relaxation for Fertility Meditation” by Circle and Bloom.
If conception is taking longer than you had thought, if you’re feeling isolated and overwhelmed, please reach out. I provide individualised support to address any emotional or psychological blocks, stop the negative thoughts spiral so you can regain confidence on your journey through conception. You can find out more about my work here.
