I sit here during the school holidays feeling exhausted.
The twins are playing down the road with mates, my toddler is asleep, and my brain is not resting.
There is so much to do.
Housework, washing of clothes, work for my website, other projects that I wish to find time for, hobbies that I wish to get back to, planning of birthday parties (the birthdays are hubbys and mine), planning and organising of playdates, functions, days away, dinners and lunches with family and much more!
Oh, and the thought of what will I cook everyone for dinner? Geez, the organising never gives up, my brain is constantly thinking of other things to do.
Why can’t hubby think of these things for a change? Why can’t I just switch off! All of this has been described as The Mental Load.
What is The Mental Load?
It is remembering everything. What you need to get at the shops if hubby or the kids are running low on clothes and need things washed or ironed? What you need to cook, pack and have organised. The list continues.
It is super hard to be the one in charge of it all. I don’t have the luxury of another family member helping as they live too far away. Hubby’s work is not local so therefore he travels, and I am the it person for kids, house and anything in-between.
Decisions, schedules, to do lists, school activities plus anything after school, keeping kids entertained and spending time with them during the school holidays, and work that needs to be done.
Term one this year at the twin’s school seemed more hectic than usual. Every few days the kids would come home with copious amounts of notes that needed money for incursions/excursions, notes that needed to be signed and other things to let me know what is going on.
All the mums will understand how hard it keeps on top of the school notes. It really is a full-time job organising anything related to school. I was relieved to finally get a break for a few weeks.
During the school term, I manage to cook dinner while helping each twin with their maths homework via Mathletics on mummy and daddy’s computer. This is normally met with an angry and tired toddler wanting me to play in the living room, which is not near the computers and not in the kitchen where I was making sure that I didn’t burn the dinner.
I also organise all functions, gifts for other family members, gifts for friends, organise everything for Christmas every year and more!
I am the keeper of schedules and the coordinator of all. It would be nice to put my feet up and take a break for a change.
The mental load of keeping all balls in the air without dropping any of them is a huge task.
I do lay awake at night sometimes wondering if I’m doing a good job.
Am I making the right decisions with everything?
Sometimes the choices are straightforward and therefore a decision is easier to make. Other times it is more complicated and harder to come to a decision.
For example; One of my girls had a baby tooth that was not very wobbly at all. She had been to the dentist about a month back and they said that this tooth needed to be taken out. The reason for the worry was due to the fact that there was the adult tooth growing directly behind this baby tooth. If it was left it could cause damage and also mean that the adult tooth ends up in the wrong position.
We hoped that the baby tooth would be able to fall out naturally. This kid was asked to wobble her tooth with the hope it would fall out soon. However, my little girl told me that her big tooth that is growing behind the baby one was hurting her. It was time for it to come out.
I made the decision to have the dentist pull her tooth. We had a gel to numb her gum and then after this two needles in her mouth. She was super brave and now the adult tooth has room to move.
Sometimes when I’ve had enough, the kids are super naughty, or decide I cannot be bothered, the kids have Weet-Bix for dinner.
Yep, this is a thing in our house, cereal for dinner.
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