Kiddipedia

Kiddipedia

As a busy mother, it’s second nature to constantly juggle all the responsibilities. We (mostly) expertly balance our professional lives, personal needs and relationships and all the little things that add to the mental load, all on top of managing the considerable time demand of raising children. All this work leaves little energy or time left to focus on filling your cup up. Over time, we even begin to feel comfortable with the constant feeling of exhaustion.

When we couple ‘The juggle’ ith the well-documented rise of ‘mumfluencers’ and celebrities popularising their perfect and well-rested lives. Our feeds are laden with decadent self-care methods across social media in lavish and over-the-top scenarios, it can seem like you’re the only one not getting the time you need to recharge.

However, new research reveals that once it is finally time to enjoy a moment of self-care, for the majority of us, the mum guilt kicks in, ruining any chance of a restful recharge.

A recent survey conducted by Australian pregnancy multivitamin brand, Natalis, has revealed a self-care paradox. While 94 per cent of mothers recognise they would benefit from more self-care, a whopping 96 per cent feel guilty when they spend time on self-care activities. Beyond this, 75 per cent admit that menial household chores like the state of their house and laundry are reason enough to put off valuable self-care time.

So how do we reap the benefits of self-care without bearing the burden of guilt? Here, Emmy Samtani, Parenting Expert, self-care advocate, and busy mum of three, shares her top five tips for guilt-free rejuvenation via self-care.

  1. Reframe your thinking

This is your friendly reminder that spending time on yourself is not selfish, and your kids won’t resent you for it. Modelling behaviours that show you are committed to yourself as a person and is a great example to set for your children. When we don’t get time for self-care, we feel guilty, yet when we do, we feel guilty about everything else we’re not doing. Rewire and remind yourself that regular self-care gives you the chance to breathe, recover and re-energise.

  1. Switch off from social media

It’s no news that as mothers, we’re time-poor, but while celebrities and social media stars post their luxurious #selfcare endeavours, the reality for mums with young kids is much less glamorous. Nearly half of the respondents in the Natalis survey (47%) acknowledged that scrolling through their phones was their self-care time. As a mum of three who makes her living, in part from social media, I want to challenge you to try and put down the phone. Scrolling through the highlight reel will lead to unhelpful and unrealistic comparisons. Put down social media and the comparisons of what you should be doing and enjoy the moment to yourself, and fill up your cup!

  1. It doesn’t need to cost the earth

The opportunity to take five minutes or one hour out of your day to spend on yourself does not mean the chosen activity must be extravagant, costly, or lengthy. Washing your hair or having a hot coffee to yourself or throwing on a face mask can allow you enough time to revive and reset. Take it a step further, go for a walk down to the park or read a chapter of a book, have a phone call with a friend, or just sit at your favourite café with freshly brewed tea. These are just a few cost-effective and simple activities that don’t take too long or hurt the bank account. You deserve it!

  1. Start small

If you’re a mum with young kids, just start with micro-moments that can build into bigger things. Focusing on one of these small moments can minimise the stress you may feel when you don’t have a lot of spare time. A great place to start is to practice the box breathing technique – breathe in for four seconds, hold in for four seconds, then breathe out and repeat as much as you wish – or, walk outside onto your balcony or backyard and look up to the sky and take a moment to focus on the things around you, a bird in the sky, falling leaves on the grass – these little moments can remind you that there is still a world outside. It is there waiting for you when you have the time to absorb it.

  1. Don’t worry, be happy!

And finally, sometimes the best self-care is to not worry about how much you’re getting. Self-care should not be about shame or comparison; If you find yourself stressing about not getting any or enough time to yourself, I promise you, it won’t improve the situation! Try reminding yourself that tomorrow is a new day with new challenges and more time; make a mental note and remind yourself to take a moment, when you can, to practice self-care. You got this!

 

For more information on the Natalis Pregnancy support range, please visit https://natalispregnancy.com.au/.

 

Emmy Samtani, Parenting Expert, self-care advocate, and busy mum of three